Johnny Robish's Blog – November 2015 Archive (29)

Ted Cruz Claims Colorado Killer a Transgender Leftist Activist

Ted Cruz Claims Colorado Killer a Transgender Leftist Activist:  Texas Senator Ted Cruz is claiming that the person who opened fire on a Planned Parenthood in Colorado was actually “registered as a woman and a transgender leftist activist.”  Really?  My question is, where would one go to register as a “transgender leftist activist?”  One thing’s for sure, given the fact that he has 18-inch arms and a huge, raggedy beard, I doubt he’s gonna be asked to join…

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Added by Johnny Robish on November 30, 2015 at 9:42pm — 18 Comments

Believers Find Miracle in Bleeding Communion Wafer

Believers Find Miracle in Bleeding Communion Wafer: Many believers are flocking to a Catholic church in Salt Lake City which recently became the site of what some are calling a wondrous miracle after…

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Added by Johnny Robish on November 29, 2015 at 8:30pm — 11 Comments

Man Kills Waitress Who Asked Him to Extinguish Cigarette

Man Kills Waitress Who Asked Him to Extinguish Cigarette:  A Mississippi man is under arrest after police say he gunned down a Waffle House waitress who asked him to put out his cigarette in the restaurant.  

Guess this pretty much destroys any arguments that cigarettes don't…

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Added by Johnny Robish on November 28, 2015 at 9:30pm — 15 Comments

Frank Gifford Suffered From CTE Brain Disease

Frank Gifford Suffered From CTE Brain Disease:  Its been revealed that an autopsy on Frank Gifford, a Hall of Fame running back who was involved in one of the most brutal collisions in the N.F.L.’s history, was found to have had chronic traumatic encephalopathy, a degenerative brain disease.  Come on, they didn’t need to run an autopsy to know he had serious brain damage - he married Kathie Lee didn’t he?…

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Added by Johnny Robish on November 26, 2015 at 5:40pm — 2 Comments

Trump Openly Mocks Reporter’s Disability

Trump Openly Mocks Reporter’s Disability:  To the delight of his audience at a recent campaign rally, Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump mockingly imitated the physical disability of Washington Post reporter Serge Kovaleski, who suffers from a rare, congenital musculoskeletal disorder that limits the movement of his arms.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on November 25, 2015 at 8:30pm — 13 Comments

Automatic Sperm Extractor Introduced At Chinese Hospital

Automatic Sperm Extractor Introduced At Chinese Hospital:  A Chinese hospital has just introduced a new machine that makes sperm donation to help infertile couples even easier - an automatic sperm extractor - a massage pipe that can be adjusted to suit the height of the user and all the donor has to do is set the frequency, amplitude and…

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Added by Johnny Robish on November 24, 2015 at 8:22pm — 6 Comments

Ancient Armenian Winery Found

Ancient Armenian Winery Found:  A UCLA-led team has discovered a 6000-year-old winery in a remote Armenian cave.  The wine should be available for purchase at the low, low price of $8.99 a bottle at Trader Joe’s beginning early next week.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on November 23, 2015 at 10:20pm — 3 Comments

Trump Claims Seeing Thousands Cheering 9-11 Attacks

Trump Claims Seeing Thousands Cheering 9-11 Attacks:  Donald Trump is claiming he saw "thousands" of people in New Jersey "cheering" as the World Trade Center came down during the September 11th terrorist attacks.  Interesting!  I assume this means if Trump’s elected, we’ll be bombing New Jersey.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on November 22, 2015 at 9:33pm — 10 Comments

Rich and Famous Getting Special Terminal at Los Angeles Airport

Rich and Famous Getting Special Terminal at Los Angeles Airport:  Los Angeles International Airport officials have approved opening a special terminal far away from the paparazzi for the rich and famous to wait for their flights, but these well-heeled individuals can expect to pay $1,500 to $1,800 for access to the space.  Engineers say the biggest obstacle they face in constructing the terminal will be making the entrance wide enough to accommodate both Kim…

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Added by Johnny Robish on November 21, 2015 at 9:34pm — 9 Comments

Texas Doesn’t Want Academics Fact-Checking Their Textbooks

Texas Doesn’t Want Academics Fact-Checking Their Textbooks:  After proclaiming “we don't need no academic approval,” an overwhelmingly Republican Texas Board of Education soundly rejected a measure that would have required university experts to fact-check the state’s public schools’ textbooks after complaints about African slaves being described as “workers.”  Well, I assume now that slaves are considered "workers" in Texas, I suppose the next logical move…

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Added by Johnny Robish on November 20, 2015 at 8:55pm — 7 Comments

Pilot Grounded After Offering a Hostess as Compensation for Delayed Flight

Pilot Grounded After Offering a Hostess as Compensation for Delayed Flight:  In an incident that sparked widespread media coverage, Indonesian airline Lion Air has grounded a pilot after he jokingly offered an air hostess to passengers as compensation for a delay on a flight to the…

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Added by Johnny Robish on November 19, 2015 at 8:30pm — 7 Comments

No Alcohol for Georgia Death Row Inmate’s Last Meal

No Alcohol for Georgia Death Row Inmate’s Last Meal:  State prison officials say an inmate facing execution in Georgia will not be allowed to have the six-pack of beer he requested for his final meal.  I kind of get that.  Mixing alcohol with the drugs they’re gonna give him could be dangerous, but hell - as a compromise - they ought to at least let him have a bottle of O’Doul’s.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on November 18, 2015 at 4:17pm — 4 Comments

Man Leaves 1900-Page Suicide Note

Man Leaves 1900-Page Suicide Note:  A 35-year-old man who recently took his own life on the Harvard campus left behind a 1904-page suicide note.  Authorities say they’re not completely certain why the man killed himself, but they’re reasonably certain it wasn’t because he had writers block. …

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Added by Johnny Robish on November 17, 2015 at 9:06pm — 6 Comments

Study Says Car Crashes More Deadly for Obese

Study Says Car Crashes More Deadly for Obese:  A new study strongly suggests that obesity increases the risk of death during car crashes.  In response, the National Institutes of Health plans to put out a PSA reminding people that “friends don’t let friends drive fat.”…

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Added by Johnny Robish on November 16, 2015 at 10:50pm — 5 Comments

Holly Holm Defeats Ronda Rousey in 2nd-Round Knockout

Holly Holm Defeats Ronda Rousey in 2nd-Round Knockout:  In one of the sport's biggest upsets, the seemingly unstoppable Ronda Rousey has been knocked out in the second round by Holly Holm.  Some are speculating that Rousey may not have been in her best fighting condition for the bout.  No kidding, I had to look twice to make sure it was really her and not Amy Schumer in the ring.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on November 15, 2015 at 9:13pm — 5 Comments

Baby Parrot in German Zoo Rejected by Parents

Baby Parrot in German Zoo Rejected by Parents:  Zookeepers at the Bergzoo Zoo in Germany are caring for a baby parrot around the clock after its parents rejected him at birth.  Zookeepers say they’re doing their best, but but its difficult because the parrot speaks very little German.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on November 14, 2015 at 9:29pm — 5 Comments

David Hasselhoff Dropping Hassle from His Last Name

David Hasselhoff Dropping Hassle from His Last Name:  In a rather bizarre YouTube video, actor David Hasselhoff announced that from now on, he will simply be known as “Hoff,” adding that he has been wanting to remove the hassle part of my name for years.  I get it.  Hasselhoff is way too much to pronounce when you're totally hammered.  Of course one has to ask, had his name been Johnsonhoff, would he have asked to have the Johnson removed?…

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Added by Johnny Robish on November 13, 2015 at 10:37pm — 10 Comments

Professor Says Oprah May Be a Religion

Professor Says Oprah May Be a Religion:  A Yale professor of religion says she has studied every Oprah show over the past 12 years as well as pouring over “O” magazine and concludes that “Oprah” may actually be a form of religion for some women.  Yea, and that, my friends, explains why so many men are increasingly calling themselves atheists.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on November 12, 2015 at 9:37pm — 5 Comments

Astronomers Excited About New Earth-Sized Planet

Astronomers Excited About New Earth-Sized Planet:  A newly discovered exoplanet roughly the size of Earth has astronomers really excited because it lives in a solar system only 39 light-years from Earth.  Scientists say in terms of space proximity, this planet is so close to Earth that the NFL is already considering putting an expansion team there.  And the weirdest thing is, all this time, it was apparently visible from Sarah Palin’s front…

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Added by Johnny Robish on November 11, 2015 at 9:00pm — 12 Comments

Trump Urges Starbucks Boycott Over Christmas Cups

Trump Urges Starbucks Boycott Over Christmas Cups:  Republican presidential contender Donald Trump is suggesting his supporters boycott Starbucks over the minimalist design of its annual holiday cups which lack obvious Christian symbolism.  In addition, Trump indicated he’ll also be demanding a Ten Commandments Display be placed prominently in every Starbucks lobby.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on November 10, 2015 at 10:16pm — 8 Comments

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