Johnny Robish's Blog – October 2017 Archive (30)

Strangers on Delta Flight Caught Having Oral Sex in Their Seats

Strangers on Delta Flight Caught Having Oral Sex in Their Seats:  A 28-year-old man and a 48-year-old woman - who had just met while sitting next to each other on a Delta flight from Los Angeles to Detroit - face possible felony charges after the woman was caught in the act of giving oral sex to the male passenger.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on October 31, 2017 at 10:47pm — 18 Comments

Study Finds People Who Use Marijuana Have More Sex

Study Finds People Who Use Marijuana Have More Sex:  A new study involving more than 50,000 Americans found that people who use marijuana tend to have more sex than those who don't use the drug.  What a bunch of bull!  Why, after I read this story, I ran right out and smoked a joint and then asked a woman if she’d like to have sex with me and she said “absolutely not!”…

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Added by Johnny Robish on October 30, 2017 at 9:07pm — 9 Comments

Man Dressed as Santa Shoots Four at Texas Halloween Party

Man Dressed as Santa Shoots Four at Texas Halloween Party:  Police say a Halloween party in Austin, Texas, erupted in violence after a man dressed as Santa Claus opened fire and wounded four people.  

While I'm no detective, I’d say the…

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Added by Johnny Robish on October 29, 2017 at 8:07pm — 4 Comments

Wisconsin Man Starts Drinking After Getting Locked in Beer Cooler

Wisconsin Man Starts Drinking After Getting Locked in Beer Cooler:  Police have cited a Marshfield, Wisconsin man who started drinking beer after becoming trapped in a Kwik Trip convenience store’s walk-in beer cooler after sales clerks told him they couldn’t sell him any alcohol.  Oh come on, what’s the problem?  I mean, the guy dutifully refilled all the beer bottles while he was in there.  Its simply a case of “when life hands you a well-stocked beer…

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Added by Johnny Robish on October 28, 2017 at 8:05pm — 1 Comment

Actors Were Warned Senior Bush Gets Pretty Handsy

Actors Were Warned Senior Bush Gets Pretty Handsy:  Following actress Heather Lind’s groping revelation, another woman came forward to claim she was also groped by former President George H.W. Bush, prompting “Hunchback of Notre Dame” cast members to divulge that actors were actually warned beforehand that the former president could get “handsy.”  Handsy?  I’ll say!  Hell, its beginning to sound like George H.W. Bush is actually short for “George Hands Wander…

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Added by Johnny Robish on October 26, 2017 at 8:13pm — 2 Comments

Scientists Create Virtual Human Brain Cells

Scientists Create Virtual Human Brain Cells:  Scientists in Seattle have created three-dimensional computer reconstructions of living human brain cells by studying tissue that is usually discarded during surgery, capturing not only the shape and anatomy of living cells, but also the electrical signals they produce.  During a recent press conference, Dr Frankenstein and his staff said it was great to be working in cosmopolitan Seattle as opposed to the Swiss…

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Added by Johnny Robish on October 25, 2017 at 9:33pm — 10 Comments

Bill O’Reilly Dropped By UTA After $32 Million Settlement Revealed

Bill O’Reilly Dropped By UTA After $32 Million Settlement Revealed:  Bill O'Reilly has been dropped by his talent agency UTA after a NY Times article revealed he paid out $32 million to settle a sexual harassment claim in February.  I’m guessing UTA just doesn't get a lot of calls from people looking for talented sexual predators.  On a positive note, he now has the premise for his next book - “Killing O’Reilly.”…

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Added by Johnny Robish on October 24, 2017 at 8:54pm — 7 Comments

Fidelity Investments Fires Two in Sexual-Harassment Crackdown

Fidelity Investments Fires Two in Sexual-Harassment Crackdown:  Boston-based Fidelity Investments reportedly ousted two employees this month as part of a crackdown on sexual harassment at the mutual-fund giant.  Insiders say the sexual tension within the company has become so all-pervasive, they may soon be forced to rename the company “In-Fidelity.”…

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Added by Johnny Robish on October 23, 2017 at 8:29pm — 4 Comments

Astronomers Measure Milky Way with Radio Waves

Astronomers Measure Milky Way with Radio Waves:  Astronomers are using a collection of radio telescopes that span thousands of miles in an attempt to measure Milky Way with radio waves.  When asked why use radio waves to take the measurement, astronomers say the Milky Way is so big that using a ruler or a tape measure just wouldn’t be practical, even if they were somehow able to recruit all the people who've leveled charges against Harvey Weinstein to help…

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Added by Johnny Robish on October 22, 2017 at 8:43pm — 4 Comments

Eight Prototypes of Trump's Border Wall Completed

Eight Prototypes of Trump's Border Wall Completed:  The Department of Homeland Security announced it will soon begin looking at which of the eight designs being considered for a border wall will best deter illegal immigrants from entering the US.  Gee, do those designs come in different colors?  I’ll bet a nice pastel might work as a deterrent.  Or how about a mellow chartreuse?  And while some may complain that taking time to choose just the right colors for…

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Added by Johnny Robish on October 21, 2017 at 8:01pm — 8 Comments

Tom Price’s Lawmaker Wife Wants People with HIV Quarantinedhttp://www.johnnyrobish.com

Tom Price’s Lawmaker Wife Wants People with HIV Quarantined:  Georgia Republican state Representative Betty Price - a physician and the wife of disgraced former Health and Human Services Secretary Tom Price - is calling for all HIV-positive people to be quarantined and for all their sexual partners to be logged and tracked by the government.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on October 20, 2017 at 9:00pm — No Comments

Trump Still Claiming His Fake Renoir is Real

Trump Still Claiming His Fake Renoir is Real:  Even though its been well documented that the real Renoir "Two Sisters (On The Terrace)” painting has been hanging in the Art Institute of Chicago since 1933, President Trump continues to insist that the one hanging in his New York apartment is real.  Yea, and I’m guessing he believes his Van Gogh self-portrait is real too - even though the ear was actually bitten off by Mike Tyson.  What tickles me is that he…

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Added by Johnny Robish on October 19, 2017 at 8:57pm — 9 Comments

Internet Buzzing Over Melania Trump Body Double Conspiracy

Internet Buzzing Over Melania Trump Body Double Conspiracy:  Melania Trump has become the center of a wild body double conspiracy theory after people began saying the woman who appeared on the White House lawn alongside the President in a trench coat and sunglasses didn’t look quite the same as Melania.  If you ask me, the answer’s quite simple - Melania is a robot and the factory provided several copies for Trump’s use.  Of course, another other explanation…

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Added by Johnny Robish on October 18, 2017 at 9:50pm — 4 Comments

Price Resigns from Amazon Studios After Harassment Allegations

Price Resigns from Amazon Studios After Harassment Allegations:  Amazon Studio head Roy Price has resigned amid allegations that he sexually harassed a producer of one of the company’s most high-profile shows.  Amazon officials boasted that, because of the company’s popular Amazon Prime service, they were able to ship Price’s ass the hell out in as little as one business day.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on October 17, 2017 at 9:12pm — 6 Comments

Fierce Collision of Neutron Stars Detected for the First Time

Fierce Collision of Neutron Stars Detected for the First Time:  Astronomers announced that they have both seen and heard a pair of neutron stars colliding, giving them their first glimpse of the violent process by which most of the gold and silver in the universe is created.  All I can say is, its probably a good thing those two stars can come up with all that gold and silver because, as it turns out - when they collided, neither of them had any…

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Added by Johnny Robish on October 16, 2017 at 7:58pm — 1 Comment

Paleogenetics Says Humans Have DNA From the Denisovans

Paleogenetics Says Humans Have DNA From the Denisovans:  National Geographic just published an article about how modern humans also have DNA from two other close relatives that lived in close proximity and with whom we interbred - the Neanderthals, and the rather mysterious Denisovans.  Not being an anthropologist, I can’t speak about the Neanderthals, but there were a family of Denisovans that lived two doors down from me where I grew up in Canton, Ohio. …

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Added by Johnny Robish on October 15, 2017 at 9:39pm — 2 Comments

Astronomers Find Half of Missing Matter in Universe

Astronomers Find Half of Missing Matter in Universe:  In one of cosmology’s perplexing problems, up to 90% of the ordinary matter in the universe appears to have gone missing, and astronomers report that they’ve finally detected about half of this missing content for the first time.  So I’m guessing that means the other half is still misplaced?  Tell you what, I’ll keep an eye out and if I happen to see any of it, I’ll let you know.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on October 14, 2017 at 9:41pm — 3 Comments

President Trump Speaks to the President of US Virgin Islands

President Trump Speaks to the President of US Virgin Islands:  President Trump turned some heads recently when he told attendees of a Values Voter Summit in Washington that he had just spoken to the president of US Virgin Islands,” which would actually be himself.  One thing’s for sure, I’ll bet it didn’t take the President of the US Virgin Islands very long to figure out whether President Trump would score higher on an IQ test than Secretary of State…

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Added by Johnny Robish on October 13, 2017 at 8:23pm — No Comments

Sports Mag Calls Trump’s 73 Golf Score Patently Unbelievable

Sports Mag Calls Trump’s 73 Golf Score Patently Unbelievable:  Golfing experts are expressing serious disbelief at the claim that the President shot a 73 during a recent round of golf with Lindsey Graham at one of the President’s golf courses.  Yea, his score may be unbelievable, but then again, isn’t everything he says and does pretty much unbelievable?  To put it in golfing terms, Trump lying about himself is “par for the course.”  That said, he ought to be…

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Added by Johnny Robish on October 12, 2017 at 9:23pm — 5 Comments

Steve Bannon Gives Trump 30% Chance of Serving Full Term

Steve Bannon Gives Trump 30% Chance of Serving Full Term:  Former senior aide Steve Bannon thinks the President only has a 30 percent chance of staying in office for a full term - as insiders are reporting that the White House is in complete turmoil.  Well, with that remark, it looks like Trump’s 3 AM twitter attack list for tomorrow has just grown to include Steve Bannon, Joe Namath and the NFL, Eminem, Jimmy Kimmel, the White House Press Corps, Senator Bob…

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Added by Johnny Robish on October 11, 2017 at 9:05pm — 6 Comments

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