Johnny Robish's Blog – September 2015 Archive (30)

Gene-Edited Micropigs to Be Sold as Pets

Gene-Edited Micropigs to Be Sold as Pets:  Cutting-edge gene-editing techniques have produced an unexpected byproduct - tiny pigs that a leading Chinese genomics institute will soon begin selling as pets.  Of course, the big concern is that skinheads and neo-Nazis may buy a bunch of them and turn them into fascist pigs.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on September 30, 2015 at 9:52pm — 7 Comments

Bank Robbery Couple Busted After Facebook Posts

Bank Robbery Couple Busted After Facebook Posts:  A Ohio man and his girlfriend have been arrested for bank robbery after they posted photos of themselves and the loot they stole to Facebook.  How strange they got busted.  Who could have known that police use the internet too?  The lesson here folks is if you absolutely must brag online about crimes you’ve committed, for heaven’s sakes, do it on sites such as LinkedIn or MYSpace where its pretty much…

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Added by Johnny Robish on September 29, 2015 at 8:41pm — 3 Comments

Study Finds Most People Believe in Extraterrestrials

Study Finds Most People Believe in Extraterrestrials:  A recent poll found that the majority of people in the United States, United Kingdom and Germany believe there is intelligent life in other parts of the universe.  Yea, and it looks like they’ve dumped off all their idiots and morons here on Earth, so they could live out their lives in some peace. …

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Added by Johnny Robish on September 28, 2015 at 8:50pm — 4 Comments

Marijuana Bundle Drops Onto Family's Carport

Marijuana Bundle Drops Onto Family's Carport:  A Nogales, NM woman called police after waking up to discover that a 26-pound bundle of marijuana had fallen out of the sky and landed on her doghouse.  Those darn Amazon drones!  On the other hand, I suppose this beats having a meteorite fall on your place.  They should have been suspicious when they heard someone shout “bongs away!”  And geez, that’s about the crappiest-looking dog house I’ve ever seen.  No…

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Added by Johnny Robish on September 27, 2015 at 9:07pm — 7 Comments

Mormons Fear Weekend’s Blood Moon Sign of End Times

Mormons Fear Weekend’s Blood Moon Sign of End Times:  A rare confluence of a lunar eclipse and a supermoon set to happen this weekend called a Blood Moon is causing such widespread fear of an impending apocalypse among Mormons that the Church was compelled to issue a statement.  Really?  I had to check twice to make sure the headline was talking about Mormons and not morons. …

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Added by Johnny Robish on September 26, 2015 at 7:47pm — 5 Comments

Plane Grounded Due to Escaped Tarantula

Plane Grounded Due to Escaped Tarantula:  An Atlanta-bound Delta flight had to be grounded overnight in Baltimore after baggage workers discovered that a baboon tarantula had escaped from its container and was loose on the plane.  Good grief, what an unimaginable, horrifying, frightening experience it must have been for the poor passengers - having to spend an entire night in Baltimore.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on September 25, 2015 at 9:30pm — 8 Comments

Men’s Wearhouse Founder Smoked Weed for 50 Years

Men’s Wearhouse Founder Smoked Weed for 50 Years:  While addressing the Cannabis World Congress & Business Expo in Los Angeles, Men’s Wearhouse founder George Zimmer admitted he has smoked marijuana on a regular basis for nearly 50 years.  Sounds like its high-time to head over to a Men’s Wearhouse.  You’re gonna like the way weed makes you feel - I guarantee it!…

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Added by Johnny Robish on September 24, 2015 at 8:00pm — 11 Comments

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt Adopting a Syrian Refugee

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt Adopting a Syrian Refugee:  Its being reported that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are in the final stages of adopting a Syrian refugee.  All I can say is, at the rate these guys are adopting, its probably a good thing we didn’t find life on Mars.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on September 23, 2015 at 8:13pm — 9 Comments

Greater Sage Grouse Denied Endangered Species Act Protection

Greater Sage Grouse Denied Endangered Species Act Protection:  In a controversial move, the Obama administration has denied Endangered Species Act protections to the “greater sage grouse.”  Opponents of the ruling say the denial of protected status is the result of a grouse misunderstanding.  The birds seem to be taking it all in stride, but obviously this kind of setback would have disheartened a lesser sage grouse.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on September 22, 2015 at 8:00pm — 5 Comments

David Cameron Accused of Sex Act With a Dead Pig

David Cameron Accused of Sex Act With a Dead Pig:  Conservative British Prime Minister David Cameron has as yet failed to respond to allegations made in a newly published book that he once inserted his penis into a dead pig head during an initiation ceremony into a secretive society while he was…

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Added by Johnny Robish on September 21, 2015 at 9:30pm — 2 Comments

New Drug for Double Chins Seeking Approval

New Drug for Double Chins Seeking Approval:  A drug that treats fat below the chin, invented by a little-known nonprofit Los Angeles Biomedical Research Institute, is seeking approval both in Europe and the United States.  And until the drug is finally approved, about all doctors can do is urge patients to keep their chin up.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on September 20, 2015 at 7:35pm — 6 Comments

Study Explores Biggest Regrets for Americans Over 65

Study Explores Biggest Regrets for Americans Over 65:  A new study asked  Americans over 65 what their greatest regret in life was and found that most people regretted having spent way too much time…

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Added by Johnny Robish on September 19, 2015 at 9:30pm — 5 Comments

Study Finds Earth Has More Trees Than Previously Thought

Study Finds Earth Has More Trees Than Previously Thought:  In a recent study published in Nature, a team of scientists found that the planet is home to over 3 trillion trees, far exceeding the previous estimate of 400 billion.  Scientists say this study pretty much lays to rest any complaints bears have about not having anywhere to go number two.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on September 18, 2015 at 8:30pm — 4 Comments

Kardashian Fan’s Identities Exposed in Website Hack

Kardashian Fan’s Identities Exposed in Website Hack:  The Kardashian-Jenner sisters have recently launched new web sites and apps, but the sites got hacked, leaving the names and e-mails of nearly 900,000 users exposed due to a security flaw.  Gee, I’m not sure which would be worse, having my personal information exposed to hackers, or being exposed as a Kardashian website member.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on September 17, 2015 at 9:23pm — 5 Comments

Tom Brady Declares for Donald Trump

Tom Brady Declares for Donald Trump:  New England Patriots and deflategate quarterback Tom Brady is now publicly endorsing Donald Trump for president.  Which isn’t really all that surprising when you consider Trump is basically the only candidate who’s a big enough windbag to re-inflate all those balls. …

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Added by Johnny Robish on September 16, 2015 at 8:43pm — 4 Comments

New Study Finds Fewer Teens Having Sex

New Study Finds Fewer Teens Having Sex:  A federally funded study found that fewer teens and young adults are having sex.  Hell, if teens and young adults can’t even get laid, where’s that leave the rest of us? …

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Added by Johnny Robish on September 15, 2015 at 8:07pm — 2 Comments

Japan’s Most Active Volcano Mount Aso Erupts

Japan’s Most Active Volcano Mount Aso Erupts:  Japanese officials are evacuating people from danger zones as the country’s most active volcano and a popular tourist hiking destination Mt Aso began erupting without warning.  Officials say anyone who doesn’t comply with the evacuation order has to be a complete Aso. …

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Added by Johnny Robish on September 14, 2015 at 9:04pm — 2 Comments

New Photo Demonstrates Crocodile Vertical Take-Off Ability

New Photo Demonstrates Crocodile Vertical Take-Off Ability:  National Geographic photographer Trevor Frost recorded this telling photo, demonstrating a crocodile’s ability to use their tails to propel themselves quickly in a perfectly vertical direction.  Good grief, this information could be a lifesaver to anyone who occasionally feels the need to dangle themselves above crocodile infested waters.  In related news, producers at ABC declined to say whether or…

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Added by Johnny Robish on September 13, 2015 at 7:33pm — 6 Comments

Militia Group Oath Keepers Vows to Prevent Kim Davis Rearrest

Militia Group Oath Keepers Vows to Prevent Kim Davis Rearrest:  An armed right-wing group called Oath Keepers has offered its protection and vows to prevent Kim Davis from being jailed again.  So let me get this straight - an organization called Oath Keepers vows to protect a woman who refuses to keep her oath? …

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Added by Johnny Robish on September 12, 2015 at 9:28pm — 9 Comments

Woman Charged in Corpse-Slashing of Her Boyfriend’s Ex

Woman Charged in Corpse-Slashing of Her Boyfriend’s Ex:  An Oklahoma woman, who earned the trust of her boyfriend’s deceased ex-girlfriend’s family by assuring them she was a skilled makeup artist who wanted to help prepare the body for viewing, instead used a knife to remove the deceased’s breasts and a toe, stole her shoes, slashed-up the…

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Added by Johnny Robish on September 11, 2015 at 9:22pm — 1 Comment

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