Johnny Robish's Blog – August 2015 Archive (30)

Kanye West Announces Presidential 2020 Ambitions

Kanye West Announces Presidential 2020 Ambitions:  At the end of a long, rambling 10-½ minute speech he gave after receiving a Lifetime Achievement Award at MTV’s Video Music Awards, Rapper Kanye West announced he will be running for president, but not till 2020.  Which seems rather fitting - given that many in the crowd seemed resigned to the fact that it might be close to 2020 by the time he finished his acceptance speech anyway.  And who knew there’s a…

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Added by Johnny Robish on August 31, 2015 at 9:07pm — 2 Comments

Obama to Rename Mt McKinley

Obama to Rename Mt McKinley:  The Obama administration announced that it will change the name of North America's tallest mountain peak from Mount McKinley to Denali, a major symbolic gesture to Alaska Natives. In response, an angry Pat Robertson told viewers of his 700 Club that we’re just lucky Obama didn’t cave in to the LGBT community and rename the place Brokeback Mountain. …

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Added by Johnny Robish on August 30, 2015 at 9:17pm — 6 Comments

Study Finds Restaurant Menus Full of Germs

Study Finds Restaurant Menus Full of Germs:  A new study determined that one of the dirtiest items found in a restaurant is the menus, which rarely get wiped down between customers.  In response, health officials are urging patrons not to eat anything off the menu.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on August 29, 2015 at 10:08pm — 3 Comments

Miley Cyrus Says She Identifies As a Pansexual

Miley Cyrus Says She Identifies As a Pansexual:  In a recent issue of Elle UK, Miley Cyrus was very vocal about her sexuality, saying she identifies herself as being Pansexual - which she defines as “being open to every single thing that is consenting and doesn’t involve an animal.”  Glad she clarified that, because I just assumed that, with Miley being a former Disney star and all, being “Pansexual” meant she’s had sex with Peter Pan.  That said, I am a…

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Added by Johnny Robish on August 28, 2015 at 9:32pm — 9 Comments

Cameras Catch Coyotes as They Take Manhattan

Cameras Catch Coyotes as They Take Manhattan:  Wildlife biologists are in the process of setting up cameras to monitor coyotes as they continue migrate into New York City, where its estimated that at least 20 coyotes are currently living in the city - mostly in the Bronx.  And while some residents may find this a bit alarming, biologists say the coyotes as yet seem to have no interest in running for public office.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on August 27, 2015 at 9:30pm — 2 Comments

Hollywood Chamber Says No to Kim Kardashian

Hollywood Chamber Says No to Kim Kardashian:  According to the Hollywood Chamber of Commerce, reality star Kim Kardashian is not a good fit and will not be getting a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, even though she recently indicated that she wanted one.  And while she may not be a good fit for the Hollywood Walk of Fame, she does seem like she’d fit right in with all the girls walking Hollywood Blvd.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on August 26, 2015 at 9:18pm — 6 Comments

Boy Trips and Punches Hole in $1.5 Million Museum Painting

Boy Trips and Punches Hole in $1.5 Million Museum Painting:  A 12-year-old Taiwanese boy, walking briskly through a museum with a soft drink in hand, tripped and broke his fall with a 350-year-old, $1.5 million Paolo Porpora oil painting, smashing a gaping hole in it.  All I can say is, this is obviously one of those instances where things don’t go better with Coke.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on August 25, 2015 at 8:33pm — 3 Comments

Pat Robertson Blames Market Crash on Planned Parenthood

Pat Robertson Blames Market Crash on Planned Parenthood:  In response to the current worldwide market crises, televangelist Pat Robertson took to his pulpit on The 700 Club to inform viewers that this financial crash is happening because America continues to fund Planned…

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Added by Johnny Robish on August 25, 2015 at 12:01am — 9 Comments

Supermarket Chain Must Pay Michael Jordan $8.9 Million

Supermarket Chain Must Pay Michael Jordan $8.9 Million:  NBA legend Michael Jordan was awarded $8.9 million by a Chicago jury in a case against supermarket chain Dominick’s, which included his name in a promotion without his permission.  Sadly for Jordan, the chain will be paying him off in double coupons.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on August 23, 2015 at 7:52pm — 5 Comments

Donald Trump Draws 30,000 at Alabama Rally

Donald Trump Draws 30,000 at Alabama Rally:  Reality TV star and Republican Presidential frontrunner Donald Trump held a rally at Ladd-Peebles Stadium in Mobile that according to his campaign, drew an impressive 30,000 Alabama residents.

And is it any wonder?  I mean who better to speak to the…

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Added by Johnny Robish on August 22, 2015 at 9:30pm — 15 Comments

Swiss Scientist Claims Fungi Can Create Stradivarius Sound

Swiss Scientist Claims Fungi Can Create Stradivarius Sound:  A Swiss scientist says that treating wood used in making a violin with a special fungi can create a modern instrument that sounds indistinguishable from a true Stradivarius.  On the other hand, who wants to buy a musical instrument that needs to be put on antibiotics?…

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Added by Johnny Robish on August 21, 2015 at 9:15pm — 2 Comments

Study Says Aging Men Need to Keep Moving

Study Says Aging Men Need to Keep Moving:  New studies all conclude that the key to keeping healthy for aging males is to stay active and keep moving.  Hell, they may have to keep moving with rents going up like they are.  If this study is true, I should be in fantastic shape then, given that I’ve moved at least 4 times in the last 5 years.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on August 20, 2015 at 9:38pm — 3 Comments

Famous Silence of the Lambs House Up for Sale

Famous Silence of the Lambs House Up for Sale:  The four-bedroom Victorian house that was used as the home and basement dungeon of psychotic killer “Buffalo Bill” in the 1991 film "The Silence of the Lambs" is up for sale.  Now, I realize that a lot of people would be intimidated about buying a place with such a reputation, but my feeling has always been they’re all just basements - until you start adding chains.  My only question is, what do you give as a…

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Added by Johnny Robish on August 19, 2015 at 8:42pm — 4 Comments

FDA Approves First Libido Pill for Women

FDA Approves First Libido Pill for Women:  The Food and Drug Administration has approved Addyi, the first prescription drug designed to boost sexual desire in women - but the pill does come with a side effect - it may cause fainting if combined with alcohol.

Good grief, it can…

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Added by Johnny Robish on August 18, 2015 at 9:02pm — 8 Comments

Actor Emile Hirch Pleads Guilty to Assault

Actor Emile Hirch Pleads Guilty to Assault:  Into The Wild star Emile Hirch has pleaded guilty to misdemeanor assault and sentenced to 15 days in jail, a $4,750 fine and 50 hours of community service for placing Paramount studio executive Daniele Bernfeld in a chokehold after drunkenly confronting her at a Sundance party.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on August 17, 2015 at 9:44pm — 4 Comments

Tennessee Pastor Blames Liberals for Banning the Stoning of Gays

Tennessee Pastor Blames Liberals for Banning the Stoning of Gays:  Pastor Ben Bailey of the Central Church of Christ in McMinnville, Tennessee is blaming “liberal society” for banning the stoning of gay people here in the US.  Why that’s just crazy talk!  I know for a fact there are gays in Colorado and Washington state getting stoned this very moment.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on August 16, 2015 at 8:30pm — 12 Comments

Trump Woos Kids With Helicopter Rides At Iowa State Fair

Trump Woos Kids With Helicopter Rides At Iowa State Fair:  While he was making an appearance at the Iowa State Fairgrounds, Donald Trump became a big hit with the kids by offering them rides in his $7 million Sikorsky S-76 helicopter helicopter.  Because nothing says I support the middle class like a $7 million helicopter.  And since its Iowa, I assume that parents have not yet seen the need to caution their children to never accept helicopter rides from…

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Added by Johnny Robish on August 15, 2015 at 9:05pm — 5 Comments

Study Looks at Drinking Alcohol While Dieting

Study Looks at Drinking Alcohol While Dieting:  Researchers say moderation is the key to that age-old question of whether you can drink alcohol while dieting and still lose weight.  You bet you can!  Why a steady diet of vodka, cocaine, Xanax and Marlboro Lights and you'll be in that beach body before you can utter the words “rehab!”…

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Added by Johnny Robish on August 14, 2015 at 9:28pm — 8 Comments

Megyn Kelly Surprises Viewers With Vacation Announcement

Megyn Kelly Surprises Viewers With Vacation Announcement:  Just days after Donald Trump accused her of having “blood coming out of her wherever” and promised to never appear on Fox News again, Megyn Kelly surprised her viewers by announcing that she’ll be going on an extended vacation.  And who can blame her?  I’m sure she needs plenty of time to allow all the hemorrhaging to abate.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on August 13, 2015 at 7:24pm — 7 Comments

Mysterious Inscription on Medieval Sword Baffles Historians

Mysterious Inscription on Medieval Sword Baffles Historians:  A 13th century medieval sword inscribed with a mysterious message is stumping researchers and causing a stir among armchair historians.  Now of course I’m no expert on medieval languages, but from what I can tell, it appears to either say “warning - sword fighting may be hazardous to your health” or "if you can read this, you’re way too close!”  Sadly, its rather difficult to read because the…

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Added by Johnny Robish on August 12, 2015 at 9:12pm — 8 Comments

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