Johnny Robish's Blog – February 2016 Archive (29)

New York Plagued by Multiple Haagen Daaz Thefts

New York Plagued by Multiple Haagen Daaz Thefts:  According to the New York Post, some apparent ice cream lovers have pulled-off a string of at least 10 large-scale thefts of Haagen Daaz ice cream in the New York area over the past 4 months.

Wow, sounds like the Post really got…

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Added by Johnny Robish on February 29, 2016 at 10:23pm — 6 Comments

Cruz Alleges Trump’s Tax Returns Might Show Mafia Ties

Cruz Alleges Trump’s Tax Returns Might Show Mafia Ties:  Presidential hopeful Ted Cruz suggested to ABC News that rival Donald Trump may be reluctant to release his tax returns because he my be doing business with the mob.  Now I have no idea if Trump has any Mafia ties, but I seriously doubt its something that would show up on his tax returns.  In related news, a mob spokesperson denied the charges, telling reporters “dare ain’t no such ting as a Mafia, so…

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Added by Johnny Robish on February 28, 2016 at 10:02pm — 2 Comments

Drug Gang Guards Stash With Live Crocodiles

Drug Gang Guards Stash With Live Crocodiles:  Police in Amsterdam have arrested 11 suspected drug-dealers who assigned the task of guarding their loot to unusually ferocious guards - a pair of fully-grown crocodiles.  Sounds like someone’s been watching too many Austin Powers movies.  Some say this might constitute animal cruelty if the poor crocs get hooked on drug addicts.  Now if its marijuana these dealers are selling, I assume it would be sold as…

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Added by Johnny Robish on February 27, 2016 at 9:50pm — 3 Comments

Study Finds 50% of US Adults Take Vitamin Supplements

Study Finds 50% of US Adults Take Vitamin Supplements:  A new government study shows that about half of U.S. adults age 20 and older take vitamins or other dietary supplements.  A follow-up study found that the remaining 50% do not take them.  …

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Added by Johnny Robish on February 26, 2016 at 10:28pm — 2 Comments

Hospital Experimenting With Hooking Patients to WiFi

Hospital Experimenting With Hooking Patients to WiFi:  A U.S. hospital is testing a clinical warning system that uses wireless (WiFi) sensors to track the vital signs of at-risk patients which can then inform nurses if there’s a problem.  The hospital is quick to point out that - unlike WiFi at Starbucks - the patient will not be required to purchase a latte every hour in order to stay connected. …

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Added by Johnny Robish on February 25, 2016 at 9:30pm — 5 Comments

Trump Thanks Poorly Educated for Helping Him Win Nevada

Trump Thanks Poorly Educated for Helping Him Win Nevada:  After racking up his third straight primary in a row, Donald Trump attributed his Nevada caucus victory in part to the poorly educated voters who supported him, adding that he just loves the “poorly educated.”  So, if I’m understanding this correctly, Trump’s basically mocking-out people for being stupid enough to vote for him and they, in turn, are taking it as a …

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Added by Johnny Robish on February 24, 2016 at 9:00pm — 17 Comments

Most Expensive Margarita Ever Unveiled

Most Expensive Margarita Ever Unveiled:  The ritzy London Bar inside the luxury hotel The London NYC, has unveiled a $1,200 cocktail called the "Billionaire Margarita,” to help celebrate National Margarita Day!  Now I don't often drink, but when I do, it’s usually the cheapest wine I can find.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on February 23, 2016 at 10:09pm — 7 Comments

Uber Driver Still Picked Up Customers During Killing Spree

Uber Driver Still Picked Up Customers During Killing Spree:  Kalamazoo police say the 45-year-old Uber driver, who is under arrest for killing six people, was still picking up and dropping off passengers in between shootings.  While it certainly doesn’t excuse what he did, at least he does appear to have had a good work ethic.  Is it just me, or do most of these mass killers always seem to have goatees?  Good grief, does anyone know if Chuck Todd owns any firearms?  Anyway, its…

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Added by Johnny Robish on February 22, 2016 at 10:00pm — 2 Comments

Massachusetts Plans Rattlesnake Colony on Uninhabited Island

Massachusetts Plans Rattlesnake Colony on Uninhabited Island:  A plan by the state to establish a colony of venomous timber rattlesnakes on an off-limits island in Massachusetts' largest body of water is causing concerns among some local residents that the serpents, who can also swim, will pose a…

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Added by Johnny Robish on February 21, 2016 at 8:30pm — No Comments

Transcripts Reveal Apollo Crew Heard Music on the Moon

Transcripts Reveal Apollo Crew Heard Music on the Moon:  It’s been revealed in previously classified NASA documents that the crew of the Apollo 15 moon mission became so startled when they began hearing rather strange music coming through their headsets, that they debated whether or not to even report it back to NASA.  Don’t tell me - let me guess - was it Pink Floyd’s “Dark Side of the Moon?”  When later asked about just how often something like this occurs,…

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Added by Johnny Robish on February 20, 2016 at 9:39pm — 6 Comments

Cruz and Carson Hold Secret Meeting In a Closet

Cruz and Carson Hold Secret Meeting In a Closet:  The Daily Beast is reporting that Ben Carson and Ted Cruz held what is being described as an awkward, 25-minute secret meeting in a closet between their two hotel rooms, just before Carson was to speak at a Conservative Review conference.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on February 19, 2016 at 10:30pm — 3 Comments

Subway Foot-Longs Coming Up Short

Subway Foot-Longs Coming Up Short:  Loyal Subway customers are expressing anger and disappointment after consumer watchdog measurements found that the chain’s famous footlong sub is actually about an inch short of a foot.  Well, I suppose that’s what we get for taking former Subway spokesperson Jared Fogle at his word when he tried to explain to us just how long 6 inches actually is. …

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Added by Johnny Robish on February 18, 2016 at 7:41pm — 3 Comments

Meteorologist Busted For Growing Marijuana Plants

Meteorologist Busted For Growing Marijuana Plants:  Police in Kentucky say an anonymous tip led to the arrest of a local TV news meteorologist and her husband for growing seven marijuana plants in their home.  Wow, sounds like she must have really been smoking up a storm.  I guess forecasts like “and today’s high was hydroponically grown in Mendocino” ultimately did her in.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on February 17, 2016 at 9:30pm — 2 Comments

Conspiracy Theorists Demand Autopsy in Scalia Death

Conspiracy Theorists Demand Autopsy in Scalia Death:  Conspiracy theorists on the internet have been going ballistic after the owner of the ranch where Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia died mentioned he had discovered Scalia with "a pillow over his head” and that there isn’t going to be an autopsy.  …

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Added by Johnny Robish on February 16, 2016 at 9:00pm — 10 Comments

Australian Cops Seize $900M in Meth Hidden in Bras

Australian Cops Seize $900M in Meth Hidden in Bras:  Authorities say Australian law enforcement agencies have seized $900 million worth of liquid methamphetamine hidden in imported boxes of silicon bra inserts.  All I know is, this takes the idea of “drug busts” to a whole new level.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on February 15, 2016 at 10:01pm — 2 Comments

Kanye West Claims to Have $53 Million in Personal Debt

Kanye West Claims to Have $53 Million in Personal Debt:  In recent a series of controversial tweets, Kanye West let it slip that he has $53 million dollars in personal debt and asked people to pray for him. 

So sad!  I hate to see something like this happen to a family who’ve scrimped and saved like they have.  Sounds like his…

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Added by Johnny Robish on February 14, 2016 at 9:30pm — 5 Comments

Two Visitors Struck By Blow Guns on Golden Gate Bridge

Two Visitors Struck By Blow Guns on Golden Gate Bridge:  Police say two tourists in San Francisco were struck in the leg and in the knee by blow darts while they were walking across the Golden Gate Bridge.  Wow, this just blows me away.  Sounds as if San Francisco has taken its hatred of tourists to the next level.  Meanwhile, San Francisco police are urging the public to immediately contact them should they should happen to notice anyone approximately 4 feet…

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Added by Johnny Robish on February 13, 2016 at 10:21pm — 4 Comments

Cruz Campaign Pulls Ad Featuring Softcore Porn Actress

Cruz Campaign Pulls Ad Featuring Softcore Porn Actress:  Sen. Ted Cruz’s campaign had to pull a TV ad after it discovered that one of the key lines in the candidate’s ad had been delivered by a “softcore porn” actress named Amy Lindsay.  Of course had she been used in a Hillary ad, it would have been followed by a message saying “I’m Bill Clinton and I approve this message.”  The irony is that had she actually been a hardcore instead of softcore porn actress, someone from the Cruz…

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Added by Johnny Robish on February 12, 2016 at 10:00pm — 2 Comments

Last Year Was Warmest Year on Record

Last Year Was Warmest Year on Record:  The World Meteorological Organization says last year was the warmest year since record-keeping began in 1850.  You bet it was hot!  Why I noticed that even people on the internet seemed to be taking off all their clothes.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on February 11, 2016 at 7:30pm — 4 Comments

Giant Ant Fossils Found in Wyoming

Giant Ant Fossils Found in Wyoming:  Researchers are claiming they’ve uncovered the fossils of gigantic ants, larger than small dogs, who once roamed the area that is now Wyoming some 50 million years ago.  Either that, or perhaps they just got into a batch of some really dynamite LSD.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on February 11, 2016 at 12:01am — 4 Comments

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