Johnny Robish's Blog (1,387)

Swiss Scientist Claims Fungi Can Create Stradivarius Sound

Swiss Scientist Claims Fungi Can Create Stradivarius Sound:  A Swiss scientist says that treating wood used in making a violin with a special fungi can create a modern instrument that sounds indistinguishable from a true Stradivarius.  On the other hand, who wants to buy a musical instrument that needs to be put on antibiotics?…

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Added by Johnny Robish on August 21, 2015 at 9:15pm — 2 Comments

Study Says Aging Men Need to Keep Moving

Study Says Aging Men Need to Keep Moving:  New studies all conclude that the key to keeping healthy for aging males is to stay active and keep moving.  Hell, they may have to keep moving with rents going up like they are.  If this study is true, I should be in fantastic shape then, given that I’ve moved at least 4 times in the last 5 years.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on August 20, 2015 at 9:38pm — 3 Comments

Famous Silence of the Lambs House Up for Sale

Famous Silence of the Lambs House Up for Sale:  The four-bedroom Victorian house that was used as the home and basement dungeon of psychotic killer “Buffalo Bill” in the 1991 film "The Silence of the Lambs" is up for sale.  Now, I realize that a lot of people would be intimidated about buying a place with such a reputation, but my feeling has always been they’re all just basements - until you start adding chains.  My only question is, what do you give as a…

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Added by Johnny Robish on August 19, 2015 at 8:42pm — 4 Comments

FDA Approves First Libido Pill for Women

FDA Approves First Libido Pill for Women:  The Food and Drug Administration has approved Addyi, the first prescription drug designed to boost sexual desire in women - but the pill does come with a side effect - it may cause fainting if combined with alcohol.

Good grief, it can…

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Added by Johnny Robish on August 18, 2015 at 9:02pm — 8 Comments

Actor Emile Hirch Pleads Guilty to Assault

Actor Emile Hirch Pleads Guilty to Assault:  Into The Wild star Emile Hirch has pleaded guilty to misdemeanor assault and sentenced to 15 days in jail, a $4,750 fine and 50 hours of community service for placing Paramount studio executive Daniele Bernfeld in a chokehold after drunkenly confronting her at a Sundance party.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on August 17, 2015 at 9:44pm — 4 Comments

Tennessee Pastor Blames Liberals for Banning the Stoning of Gays

Tennessee Pastor Blames Liberals for Banning the Stoning of Gays:  Pastor Ben Bailey of the Central Church of Christ in McMinnville, Tennessee is blaming “liberal society” for banning the stoning of gay people here in the US.  Why that’s just crazy talk!  I know for a fact there are gays in Colorado and Washington state getting stoned this very moment.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on August 16, 2015 at 8:30pm — 12 Comments

Trump Woos Kids With Helicopter Rides At Iowa State Fair

Trump Woos Kids With Helicopter Rides At Iowa State Fair:  While he was making an appearance at the Iowa State Fairgrounds, Donald Trump became a big hit with the kids by offering them rides in his $7 million Sikorsky S-76 helicopter helicopter.  Because nothing says I support the middle class like a $7 million helicopter.  And since its Iowa, I assume that parents have not yet seen the need to caution their children to never accept helicopter rides from…

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Added by Johnny Robish on August 15, 2015 at 9:05pm — 5 Comments

Study Looks at Drinking Alcohol While Dieting

Study Looks at Drinking Alcohol While Dieting:  Researchers say moderation is the key to that age-old question of whether you can drink alcohol while dieting and still lose weight.  You bet you can!  Why a steady diet of vodka, cocaine, Xanax and Marlboro Lights and you'll be in that beach body before you can utter the words “rehab!”…

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Added by Johnny Robish on August 14, 2015 at 9:28pm — 8 Comments

Megyn Kelly Surprises Viewers With Vacation Announcement

Megyn Kelly Surprises Viewers With Vacation Announcement:  Just days after Donald Trump accused her of having “blood coming out of her wherever” and promised to never appear on Fox News again, Megyn Kelly surprised her viewers by announcing that she’ll be going on an extended vacation.  And who can blame her?  I’m sure she needs plenty of time to allow all the hemorrhaging to abate.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on August 13, 2015 at 7:24pm — 7 Comments

Mysterious Inscription on Medieval Sword Baffles Historians

Mysterious Inscription on Medieval Sword Baffles Historians:  A 13th century medieval sword inscribed with a mysterious message is stumping researchers and causing a stir among armchair historians.  Now of course I’m no expert on medieval languages, but from what I can tell, it appears to either say “warning - sword fighting may be hazardous to your health” or "if you can read this, you’re way too close!”  Sadly, its rather difficult to read because the…

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Added by Johnny Robish on August 12, 2015 at 9:12pm — 8 Comments

Internet Buzzing Over Woman’s Image on Mars

Internet Buzzing Over Woman’s Image on Mars:  The internet is abuzz about a photo taken by the Mars Curiosity rover which appears to show the image of a woman on the Red Planet.  In response, NASA says whole idea that this could be a woman’s picture is ridiculous because everyone knows that MEN are from Mars and women are from Venus.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on August 11, 2015 at 8:30pm — 4 Comments

Google Reorganizes Under the Name Alphabet

Google Reorganizes Under the Name Alphabet:  Google has announced that it’s now part of a new umbrella company called Alphabet, which will separate its core internet businesses (still called Google) from Google execs’ various side projects such a longevity research and self-driving cars.  So I’m guessing that with a company like Alphabet, in lieu of buying stock, you’d buy a vowel instead.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on August 10, 2015 at 8:50pm — 4 Comments

Two Tortoises End 115-Year Relationship

Two Tortoises End 115-Year Relationship:  Attendants at a zoo in Austria are baffled as to why a pair of giant tortoises who’ve been a couple for more than a century have suddenly split-up, with the female even taking a chunk out of her ex-mate’s shell.  Guess she just got fed up with him crawling back into his shell ever time she said “we need to talk.”…

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Added by Johnny Robish on August 9, 2015 at 9:11pm — 4 Comments

Putin Lays Claim to the North Pole

Putin Lays Claim to the North Pole:  President Vladimir Putin is petitioning the United Nations for exclusive control over 463,000 square miles of the Arctic Ocean, which also includes a good portion of the North Pole.

Makes you wonder why Putin would want the North…

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Added by Johnny Robish on August 8, 2015 at 8:30pm — 5 Comments

Father’s Age Linked to Autism and Schizophrenia Risk

Father’s Age Linked to Autism and Schizophrenia Risk:  Scientists report that older men are significantly more likely than young ones to father a child who develops autism or schizophrenia.  So if your “old man” is literally an old man - don’t be too surprised if you find yourself hearing voices.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on August 6, 2015 at 7:00pm — 5 Comments

Office Air Conditioning Is Biased Against Women

Office Air Conditioning Is Biased Against Women:  A new study is suggesting that temperature settings on office air conditioners may be biased against women.  I thought that could be the case after I noticed the settings on the thermostat read warm, cool and freeze bitch.”…

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Added by Johnny Robish on August 5, 2015 at 8:55pm — 4 Comments

Drone Drops Drugs into Ohio Prison Recreation Yard

Drone Drops Drugs into Ohio Prison Recreation Yard:  Prison officials say a drone flew over and dropped a package of heroin, marijuana and tobacco into the recreation yard of an Ohio prison, sparking a fight among inmates trying to pick up the contraband.  If you ask me, Amazon is getting a bit too carried away with their same-day delivery service promise.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on August 4, 2015 at 9:15pm — 2 Comments

Psychiatric Group Votes to Label Nail Biting a Mental Disorder

Psychiatric Group Votes to Label Nail Biting a Mental Disorder:  The American Psychiatric Association (APA) has voted to classify nail biting as an addiction and a mental disorder.  Apparently the vote was quite close, but officials were reluctant to describe it as a “real nail biter.” …

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Added by Johnny Robish on August 3, 2015 at 9:41pm — 4 Comments

Beaches in Eastern Australia Closed After Shark Sightings

Beaches in Eastern Australia Closed After Shark Sightings:  Officials closed several beaches at the tourist hub of Ballina in eastern Australia and are cautioning swimmers and surfers to stay out of the water following a serious attack on a surfer in the area.  Locals say these sharks could take a huge bite out of tourism.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on August 2, 2015 at 9:03pm — 4 Comments

Texas Man Hit by Ricocheting Bullet After Shooting Armadillo

Texas Man Hit by Ricocheting Bullet After Shooting Armadillo:  Police say an East Texas man who spotted an armadillo on his property, grabbed his .38 revolver and opened fire on the animal, but one of the three bullets ricocheted back and struck him right in the jaw.

Gee, I sure hope he’s OK - the…

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Added by Johnny Robish on August 1, 2015 at 7:21pm — 7 Comments

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