Johnny Robish's Blog (1,380)

NASA Says Earth-Like Planet Discovered

NASA Says Earth-Like Planet Discovered:  NASA scientists announced that they’ve discovered an Earth-like planet some 1,400 light-years away orbiting in a habitable zone of a G2-type star similar to the sun.  While on the surface this sounds like great news, astronomers caution that even if the planet happens to be populated with intelligent beings, we'd probably hate their music.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on July 24, 2015 at 8:45pm — 3 Comments

Three Men Struck by Lightening at Florida Nude Beach

Three Men Struck by Lightening at Florida Nude Beach:  The Miami Herald reports that three men have been hospitalized after being struck by lightning at Haulover Beach in Miami, which is America’s largest public nude beach.  Wow, sounds like one hell of a weenie roast!  Despite the nudity, Florida officials say they see no reason to categorize the lightening as a sex offender.  Officials further added that this incident probably wouldn’t have happened had…

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Added by Johnny Robish on July 23, 2015 at 9:26pm — 3 Comments

Hawking Announces $100 Million Hunt for Alien Life

Hawking Announces $100 Million Hunt for Alien Life:  Famed physicist Stephen Hawking and Russian tycoon Yuri Milner held a news conference in London announcing their new project called Breakthrough Listen, which will invest $100 million and a lot of brainpower into the search for intelligent extraterrestrial life.  Hawking says that if they do find extraterrestrials who are not considered intelligent, they will immediately be placed in a “No Extraterrestrial…

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Added by Johnny Robish on July 22, 2015 at 8:50pm — 3 Comments

Pat Robertson Warns Supreme Court Will OK Sex With Animals

Pat Robertson Warns Supreme Court Will OK Sex With Animals:  Pat Robertson is predicting on his 700 Club that the recent Supreme Court same-sex marriage ruling will eventually lead to humans being legally allowed to have sex with animals.  In related news, a 700 Club spokesperson confirmed that Robertson has just purchased a farm in rural Virginia.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on July 21, 2015 at 9:30pm — 5 Comments

Shock as Aussie Surf Pro Fights Off Shark Attack

Shock as Aussie Surf Pro Fights Off Shark Attack:  Australian surf champion Mick Fanning is lucky to be alive after being attacked by a great white shark who knocked Fanning off his board as he battled to fend the animal off in images shown on live TV.  As they say, Australian surfers - the other white meat.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on July 20, 2015 at 9:08pm — 4 Comments

Farmers Arrested for Running Sheep Brothel in Wales

Farmers Arrested for Running Sheep Brothel in Wales:  Three men have been jailed after being convicted of running a Sheep brothel in Swansea, Wales through a website that let people select the animal of their liking and book in for an appointment.  The whole idea just sounds completely insane to me, but then again, I’m allergic to wool.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on July 19, 2015 at 7:48pm — 2 Comments

Rare Thunderstorms Hit Los Angeles Area

Rare Thunderstorms Hit Los Angeles Area:  We’re actually having thunderstorms here in LA this evening - which I suppose is all fun and games until one of our celebrities ends up having all the thunder stolen out from under them.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on July 18, 2015 at 7:09pm — 3 Comments

God Tells Scientists There’s Nothing to See Here on Pluto

Its being reported that, just as the New Horizons spacecraft was approaching Pluto, God approached a group of NASA scientists and essentially told them “there’s nothing to see here folks - keep moving.”  

While NASA has a policy on not commenting directly on the Lord’s remarks,…

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Added by Johnny Robish on July 17, 2015 at 8:32pm — 3 Comments

Costco Removes Dinosaur Cakes After 666 Complaint

Costco Removes Dinosaur Cakes After 666 Complaint: Costco says they’ve removed a line of dinosaur cakes from their Mesa store after a woman who bought one of the cakes for her son’t birthday complained that the area which was supposed to be the dinosaur’s legs looked as if it was also saying 666. I guess if you’re a dinosaur, that’s one way to avoid being eaten. Now I’m no baker, but obviously must have been a Devil’s Food Cake. …

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Added by Johnny Robish on July 16, 2015 at 7:43pm — 7 Comments

Embattled SeaWorld Accused of Infiltrating PETA

Embattled SeaWorld Accused of Infiltrating PETA:  The animal rights group PETA is claiming that SeaWorld sent an employee on secret missions to infiltrate events organized by the group in an attempt to undermine its work.  

A PETA spokesperson said they suspected right away that…

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Added by Johnny Robish on July 15, 2015 at 7:53pm — 1 Comment

Nudist Resort Owners Charged With Water Theft in California

Nudist Resort Owners Charged With Water Theft in California:  Two female proprietors of a nudist resort in drought-stricken Northern California are pleading not guilty to felony charges of illegally diverting water from a nearby creek to feed their property.

Sounds like these guys really got…

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Added by Johnny Robish on July 14, 2015 at 7:17pm — 4 Comments

Scientists Study Aardvark Behavior

Scientists Study Aardvark Behavior:  Researchers say a young aardvark will typically stay with its family for only 6-months before they move out on their own.  And who can blame them?  Who wants to live with a bunch of frigging Aardvarks? …

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Added by Johnny Robish on July 13, 2015 at 8:30pm — 4 Comments

Los Angeles County Closes in on 10 Million Population

Los Angeles County Closes in on 10 Million Population:  New data indicate that the population of Los Angeles County is quickly approaching 10 million people.  Health officials expressed concern that if the population continues to grow at its current rate, there won’t be enough plastic surgeons to accommodate everyone.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on July 12, 2015 at 9:26pm — 2 Comments

U.S. Marshals Employee Caught Having Sex on Roof of Federal Building

U.S. Marshals Employee Caught Having Sex on Roof of Federal Building:  The U.S. Marshals Service confirms that one of its employees has been photographed having sex on the Harrisburg, Pennsylvania federal courthouse rooftop.  Sex on the rooftop?  These two were obviously trying to sleep their way to the top.  Regardless, security experts say they will likely “get-off” with a just warning. …

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Added by Johnny Robish on July 11, 2015 at 9:04pm — 4 Comments

Study Finds Causal Link Between Smoking and Schizophrenia

Study Finds Causal Link Between Smoking and Schizophrenia:  In research that turns on its head previous thinking about links between schizophrenia and smoking, scientists say they have found that cigarettes may be a causal factor in the development of schizophrenia.  Of course the difficulty with trying to treat a schizophrenic who smokes is that you first have to figure out which one of them is actually doing the smoking.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on July 10, 2015 at 9:03pm — 6 Comments

Law Wants to Make Silent Electric Car Motors Audible

Law Wants to Make Silent Electric Car Motors Audible:  There is bipartisan support gathering for a law requiring silent electric cars to make some sort of audible noise to warn pedestrians when the vehicles are traveling at speeds of 30 MPH or under.  So far, the proposal that seems to be garnering the most attention is one in which the slow-moving EV’s would electronically hurl recorded insults at nearby pedestrians.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on July 9, 2015 at 9:14pm — 3 Comments

Park Sees Big Boost After Apple Names Operating System Yosemite

Park Sees Big Boost After Apple Names Operating System Yosemite:  After Apple, the world’s biggest tech company, decided to name its operating system “OS X Yosemite,” it sent a wave of free advertising and loads of people to visit the California park.  Good, now if they’ll just consider naming their next update “OS X Greece,” perhaps we can all forget that whole mess.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on July 8, 2015 at 8:14pm — No Comments

NASA Claims Asteroid 2015 HM10 No Threat to Earth

NASA Claims Asteroid 2015 HM10 No Threat to Earth:  NASA is busy denying stories which are all over the internet these days that an asteroid named 2015 HM10, which is expected to come within 270,000 miles of our planet, will destroy the Earth.  NASA scientists went on to add that there is actually more likelihood of serious damage should Kim Kardashian’s ass strike something than if asteroid 2015 HM10 would happen to strike Earth.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on July 7, 2015 at 8:44pm — 1 Comment

No Offers to Adopt UK Kitten With Hitler Mustache

No Offers to Adopt UK Kitten With Hitler Mustache:  Staff at a British animal shelter say no one seems interested in adopting a six-week-old kitten whom they’ve playfully named “Kitler” because of a black mark under its nose that closely resembles Hitler's mustache.  Shelter workers say that while they fully understand people’s reluctance to adopt a cat that looks like Hitler, a kitten of this size would have very little chance of successfully invading Poland or Slovakia.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on July 6, 2015 at 9:30pm — 6 Comments

Late Night Swimmer Becomes First Alligator Death In Texas

Late Night Swimmer Becomes First Alligator Death In Texas:  In what is believed to be the state's first fatal gator attack in two centuries, a man has been killed after shouting “screw alligators” and jumping into a Texas bayou late at night which displayed a prominent warning sign reading “no swimming alligators.”  This is where punctuation really matters folks.  The poor guy probably thought the sign meant alligators aren’t permitted to swim in the bayou. …

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Added by Johnny Robish on July 5, 2015 at 8:17pm — 4 Comments

NEW BLOG POSTS

Leaving the Purple House

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As Luck Would Have It

Posted by Robert B. James on June 15, 2019 at 3:04pm 1 Comment

PreOP Poem

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Fear of Being Sentimental

Posted by Doc Vega on June 14, 2019 at 10:42am 0 Comments

Road Trip to Thunder Bay Postponed

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Kept the Memory

Posted by J.P. Hart on June 14, 2019 at 8:32am 3 Comments

Cutting Edge Not Vertical

Posted by Robert B. James on June 14, 2019 at 7:57am 3 Comments

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