Johnny Robish's Blog (664)

Smashed Mastodon Bones Suggest Humans Arrived 100,000 Years Earlier

Smashed Mastodon Bones Suggest Humans Arrived 100,000 Years Earlier:  Close inspection of 130,000-year-old broken mastodon femur bones found at a freeway excavation in California have led some researchers to the controversial conclusion that humans were responsible for killing…

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Added by Johnny Robish on April 26, 2017 at 11:32pm — 2 Comments

Trump Wants to Put Humans on Mars in Three Years

Trump Wants to Put Humans on Mars in Three Years:  Unsatisfied with NASA's current plans to get humans on the Red Planet sometime in the 2030s, President Trump announced he wants people on Mars by the end of his first term, in three-and-a-half years.  Wonder if Trump realizes that Mars is known as the “Red Planet,” not the “Orange Planet?”  The way things are going, Trump would spend billions of our tax dollars sending people to Mars and as soon as they land,…

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Added by Johnny Robish on April 25, 2017 at 9:30pm — 7 Comments

Trump Boasts He Has Higher Ratings Than 9/11 Broadcasts

Trump Boasts He Has Higher Ratings Than 9/11 Broadcasts:  In a recent interview about his first 100 days in the White House, Donald Trump bragged that his “ratings” were higher than broadcasts of the 9/11 terrorist attacks.  Is it just me, or did the President of the United States just boast he is more popular than a terror attack?…

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Added by Johnny Robish on April 24, 2017 at 9:28pm — No Comments

Study Finds Older Workers Stay Unemployed Longer

Study Finds Older Workers Stay Unemployed Longer:  According to recently released research, people age 55 and older who are unemployed are more likely to be so long-term as opposed to their younger counterparts.  Perhaps even more depressing, even if they do find work, they’re still gonna be old.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on April 23, 2017 at 7:41pm — No Comments

Frozen Hash Browns Recalled Due to Golf Ball Contamination

Frozen Hash Browns Recalled Due to Golf Ball Contamination:  A recall has been issued for frozen hash browns sold in nine states under the Harris Teeter and Roundy's brands because the potatoes may be contaminated with golf ball materials.  Wait a minute!  We’re not supposed to eat golf balls?  I don’t know about you, but I miss the good old days when foods were contaminated with things like e-coli or listeria.  One thing’s for sure, something like this could…

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Added by Johnny Robish on April 22, 2017 at 9:34pm — 4 Comments

Doctor Accused of Performing Liposuction in Pole Barn

Doctor Accused of Performing Liposuction in Pole Barn:  Southwestern Michigan authorities say a doctor may have endangered patients and the public by performing liposuctions in a pole barn.  So for those of you in Southwestern Michigan, if anyone ever utters a snide remark to you like “close the door, were you born in a barn?” - just tell them “no, but I once had liposuction in one.”…

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Added by Johnny Robish on April 21, 2017 at 9:20pm — 2 Comments

Attorney General Sessions Insults State of Hawaii

Attorney General Sessions Insults State of Hawaii:  US Attorney General Jeff Sessions set off a firestorm after issuing an insulting dismissal of America’s 50th state, expressing astonishment that a judge “who sits on an island in the Pacific” could dare hold up American President Trump’s travel ban - making some wonder if he was even aware that Hawaii is a state.  Sure, Hawaii has been a state since 1959, but in Sessions’ defense, he’s still living in the…

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Added by Johnny Robish on April 20, 2017 at 9:38pm — 5 Comments

Bill O’Reilly Out at Fox News

Bill O’Reilly Out at Fox News:  Fox News announced it has ended its association with Bill O’Reilly, the combative TV host and commentator who has ruled cable-news ratings for nearly two decades and was the signature figure in the network’s rise as a powerful political player.  Sounds like Bill O’Reilly is no longer a Factor - he’s entered the “No Job Zone.”…

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Added by Johnny Robish on April 19, 2017 at 9:00pm — 2 Comments

White House Claims Miscommunication on Aircraft Carrier's Location

White House Claims Miscommunication on Aircraft Carrier's Location:  A senior Administration official says a miscommunication with the Pentagon and the Trump Defense Department was responsible for President Trump falsely claiming on Fox News that he was sending “a very powerful naval armada" to the Korean Peninsula, when those ships were actually on their way to military exercises out in the Indian Ocean, some 3,500 miles in the opposite…

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Added by Johnny Robish on April 18, 2017 at 8:57pm — 7 Comments

Trump Urges Everyone to Read Book with No Words

Trump Urges Everyone to Read Book with No Words:  In an early morning tweet, President Trump urged all Americans to read Michael J. Knowles’ Amazon bestseller “Reasons to Vote for Democrats,” a satirical book that contains nothing but 260 blank pages.  No doubt the book is at the top of Betsy DeVos' reading list.  Actually, its a great read for Trump people, because you can just make up your own stories.  When asked if he actually read the book, Trump…

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Added by Johnny Robish on April 17, 2017 at 9:30pm — 2 Comments

Navy SEAL Under Fire For Moonlighting As Porn Actor

Navy SEAL Under Fire For Moonlighting As Porn Actor:  A decorated Navy SEAL is under investigation after it was disclosed that the soldier had been moonlighting as porn actor Jay Voom, but his porn-star wife Jewels Jade claims he was only trying to help her career after they had experienced financial difficulty.  Well, first of all, I’d like to tell them “thanks for your cervix.”  Apparently all his missions weren't impossible.  So they had some financial…

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Added by Johnny Robish on April 16, 2017 at 8:03pm — 4 Comments

Trump Insisting on Riding in the Queen's Gold-Plated Carriage

Trump Insisting on Riding in the Queen's Gold-Plated Carriage:  In what is being described by officials as a potential security nightmare, US President Donald Trump is reportedly demanding to ride in the Queen's royal, gold-plated carriage to travel down The Mall to…

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Added by Johnny Robish on April 15, 2017 at 9:45pm — 6 Comments

Apple to Test Self-Driving Vehicles in California

Apple to Test Self-Driving Vehicles in California:  Ending years of speculation, Apple’s late entry into a crowded field was made official with the disclosure that the California Department of Motor Vehicles has awarded a permit for the company to start testing its self-driving car…

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Added by Johnny Robish on April 14, 2017 at 10:31pm — 4 Comments

Trump's Mar-a-Lago Club Cited for Numerous Serious Food Safety Violations

Trump's Mar-a-Lago Club Cited for Numerous Serious Food Safety Violations:  Donald Trump’s exclusive Palm Beach Mar-a-Lago country club, where he has been routinely entertaining world leaders with dinner and diplomacy, has just been cited again for a number of serious food safety…

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Added by Johnny Robish on April 13, 2017 at 8:00pm — 4 Comments

New Berkeley Study Explains Why Shoelaces Come Undone

New Berkeley Study Explains Why Shoelaces Come Undone:  After numerous tests run on a treadmill, a UC Berkeley professor of mechanical engineering determined that the combination of banging a leg up and down and jerking it forward is primarily responsible for our shoelaces continually becoming untied.  Oh yea, I’ve heard about that study.  I believe its called “String Theory.”  If you ask me, the solution to this is simple.  Instead of using regular…

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Added by Johnny Robish on April 12, 2017 at 8:45pm — 2 Comments

Cosmopolitan Now Pushing Cancer as a Diet Plan

Cosmopolitan Now Pushing Cancer as a Diet Plan:  Cosmopolitan magazine is infamous for their  click-bait headlines about women’s dieting tips, and in one of its signature pieces, they published a profile of a 31-year-old Australian woman who Cosmo claimed "lost 44 pounds without ANY exercise” - only, as it turns out - the reason she lost the weight was that she had cancer.  Hell, they may as well have added that if you go on this diet plan, it could be the…

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Added by Johnny Robish on April 11, 2017 at 9:41pm — No Comments

Scientists Identify Parts of Brain Involved in Dreaming

Scientists Identify Parts of Brain Involved in Dreaming:  Scientists have identified regions of the brain involved in dreaming in a study with significant implications for our understanding of the purpose of dreams and of consciousness itself - even offering clues as to what the dream is actually about.  In related news, Facebook announced they are just a few short years away from targeted, in-dream advertising!…

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Added by Johnny Robish on April 10, 2017 at 9:08pm — 4 Comments

Scott Walker Wants Wisconsin to Stop Dictating How Much Kids Go to School

Scott Walker Wants Wisconsin to Stop Dictating How Much Kids Go to School:  If Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker (R) has his way, the Badger State will become the first state to stop requiring students in public schools to spend a minimum number of hours in the classroom.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on April 9, 2017 at 9:00pm — 10 Comments

Casey Anthony Now a Professional Photographer

Casey Anthony Now a Professional Photographer:  Its being reported that Casey Anthony, the Florida woman acquitted in 2011 in the death of her 2-year-old daughter, is now trying to establish a career as a photographer in West Palm Beach.  Gee, if that doesn’t work out for her, who knows what she can do for a living?  I’m assuming babysitting is pretty much out of the question!…

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Added by Johnny Robish on April 8, 2017 at 8:30pm — 2 Comments

New Snail Venom Painkiller Extremely Potent

New Snail Venom Painkiller Extremely Potent:  Scientists say an experimental drug made from snail venom and judged to be about 100 times more potent than morphine, has shown early signs of promise in numbing pain, raising hopes in the hunt for new, non-addictive medications.  Unfortunately, so far - research has only been moving at a snail’s pace.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on April 7, 2017 at 9:00pm — No Comments

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