I wrote this on September 9th after a conversation with my daughter.
This morning my daughter woke from a dream, September 9th is the day her dad always thought was her birthday and it's on this day he always called. September 7th is her real birthday, but she would expected his call on the 9th.
She walked around her kitchen with the phone to her ear, talking to her Dad, her mind trying to grasp why this didn't seem possible, her dad was dead, but yet she was…Continue
Cleaning up my drafts and ran across this picture blog, a collection of a few of my favs. Hope you enjoy.
I love this color
How much for the saw?
Will you take $3 for it, not sure if it works
How much for the lawn mower
Its not for sale
This stuff here is for sale
ok thank you
How much for the picture? Is this a painting?
5 dollars, well its signed by the artist but I think its a reproduction
Where you moving to?
Rented a little place in Waldo
Nice area. Good luck with your move
Sleep by number…Continue
This is a repost of my first blog EVER. A re-read makes me want to edit but I won't, these were my words at the time and how I felt so I will leave them stand.
My story begins the fall of 1998 when I return to the workforce after taking a year off to spend time with my young family. I needed to file for divorce and had to get a job. It took all of 2 weeks to find a good paying job as a production supervisor in a Tier 1 automotive plant. This plant supplied the Big…Continue
26 dead cats, yes, all at once. The year was 1974 ish... the barn was teeming with a community of cats, friendly ones that just kept having babies, until one day when I crawled up into the hay bales to find a large and very sick strange male cat. Mucus ran from it's eyes and nose. Within a few short weeks, the cat community was no more.
I like to make soap in my spare time. Ah, no, but I do love the smell of homemade soaps! How many read that and thought soup? Heh! Well I have thought…Continue
I once had 26 cats but they all died
I like to make soap in my spare time
I have more shoes than PW, lots more...
We know change is inevitable, but the mind holds fast to what is known and remains anticipatory of the future. I liken my mind to a caged animal at times when I'm under stress. The different types of stress affect me differently emotionally but often the physical side effects are the same. Irregular heart beat flairs up, my blood sugar is more difficult to maintain (I don't test, I base this on how I feel) I'm unable to fall asleep and stay asleep, and excessive mental ruminating…Continue
More than just an ordinary dog, Max is my buddy, my pooch, my every dog all in one. So when Trig said he wanted to go camping, my brain wailed "but what about my dog???" I was mortified, now what? I had no one left at home to watch him while I went traipsing about Nowhere Kansas. Ugh. My aging, over-sized, and arthritic dog would need to accompany us, me, or else. So began the mental gymnastics while I wrestled with this new problem.
Ok Ok Ok, let me think! I know! I'll get one of…Continue
The house is familar. I've been here before- comfortable in the odd setting.
I can almost picture the outside in my mind but it evades me at the same time. An odd cul-de-sac, the house with it's tudor roof style, at once interesting yet strangely haunting. Inside, dark wood, old, at least 100 years or more. Polished maple stairs lead up to a room but when I look to the left I see windows into another room.
The furniture is moving itself, stacking up and re-arranging.…Continue
Save the money and turn off the air
stuffy stale stifling
CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE
open wallet, turn on air
clap off clap on the clapper
open window 3:30 in the morning
a little "poof" in the face
the killer pollen strikes
The wall hard and cold pressed into her back
acrid smoke wisping through air
moment to herself
mind swirling like the smoke
You can never truly have me
As the clock ticks down to some yet unknown date, this date being the date when I can list and sell this house I'm living in.
Yea, that date...
And yes, there is sufficient work to be done prior.
Sorting, organizing, liquidating...
Windows washed, several rooms painted, carpet shampooed...
I decided my action plan would be to attack one room at a time. Some rooms will be easy, while others will be hard for various reasons. My mom's bedroom…Continue
I’m not sure why, but whenever I’ve missed my grandma I always picture her hands. I’ve always thought there was something poetic about them. How those knobby, speckled, arthritic things could move with such grace. The soft, paper-thin skin stretched over bone that could deliver such comfort. They seemed to be the medium from which she poured so much inspiration, teachings, and love into me. She passed on so much through those hands; I know I won’t get by long without being…Continue
So many thoughts run though my mind, some in sentence fragments and others that defy words. What do we do with those thoughts we can't organize into words? There is a randomness that defies.
My mom passed less than a month ago, I thought I had time. Time to figure it out, time to take care of her, time to burn, time to spare. But still death ripped her from me. I couldn't protect her when complications from a bump on the head would take her life.
My cousin's wife Marjory, who…Continue
sitting by your side
eyes transfixed on your face
taking in your soft light
the small bones of your hands with skin stretched thin
the hands that guided me
the heart that loves me
I watch the delicate bones in your chest
rise and fall
the faint rattle becoming a gurgle
and still faster your breathing
wiping the sweat from your forehead
the cooling cloth offers little but minor relief
I awoke this morning to my mind calling out the word "mom". Not a frantic voice, more inquisitive. But it literally pushed me into awareness at 5:45, the longest I've slept in a week.
True my mom and I have been on a journey, but I can't figure out why my mind has now several times now called out like this. Just one…Continue
makes me feel
small and lost
this and that
what to do
I thought I had more time
the tests show nothing positive
as if her body has turned on itself
the fibrous marrow
the "marrow stress"
yesterday's new term
her brain a bit addled from the bleed
but still quite clear
she jokes with the nurses
Deck fern, very nearly killed when I re-potted and cut off some of the root ball. It was quite root bound at the time, and I literally hacked a significant part of the roots off. The roots were extremely tough and fibrous and I ended up using a serrated knife to finish the…Continue
A quote from my son's facebook:
"Just bought an i7-3820, Asus Sabertooth x79 board, 4x4GB Corsair vengeance ram (quad channel), 128GB crucial SSD, Coolermaster HAF full tower, and Koolance fittings, water block, hose, drive bay pump and reservoir, and 140mm fan radiator. Quake Con and college, here I come!" …