Gerald Andersen's Blog (27)

Rite of Passage

(Cross-posted from Writeon)

Visit my page here: writeon

Weekend Writein Fiction Challenge: In 500 words, imagine what happens when a ritual is disrupted.

The two dozen or so members lined up in two flanks creating an aisle that ran from front to back of the room. The windowless inner-sanctum was illuminated by a single light that hung in the front.

Each member wore a…

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Added by Gerald Andersen on January 17, 2016 at 8:00am — 5 Comments

Squatched

I have a confession to make: while I am the first to mock folks who watch reality shows such as the Kardashians or Housewives of Where-ever, I love Big Foot shows.



Technically, they are not reality shows because Big Foot does not exist (you heard it here first). Whether is it is Mountain Monsters, Finding Big Foot, Alaska Monsters or any of their spin-off and derivatives, watching fat, pathetic, armed red necks stumbling around and falling over each other in pursuit of something that… Continue

Added by Gerald Andersen on January 10, 2016 at 9:38am — 16 Comments

Any input on Writeon?

Hello all,

Got an email the other day from Amazon promoting their Kindle site called Writeon.

It has some of the features of Open/Our, but claims to be a site where writers can try out and get input on their work. I put up a well worn chestnut from OS - "Chaneling Sinatra"- just to see what would happen. Not much yet, except an invite to submit for Weekend Fiction. wonder where they got that idea. Any of you on there? what do you think? Let me know and I will look you up and comment.… Continue

Added by Gerald Andersen on January 8, 2016 at 7:28pm — 9 Comments

Journey of a Doodle

Back at the Old Place I created a doodle to illustrate a bit of doggerel I wrote called "An Autumn Prayer."

Here is the drawing:

Tucked among…

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Added by Gerald Andersen on December 7, 2015 at 7:30am — 10 Comments

Weekend Fiction: A Minor Haunting

 

(Thanks, Alysa for keeping this going. My Halloween offering is a piece that originally ran on Open Salon several years ago. For some reason-perhaps because it had the word haunting in the title-it had 30,000 reads, the most for any piece of fiction I put up. I hope you enjoy.)

He knew he was invisible from the moment he died.

As he stood in the corner of the living room watching Sophie shake him as he slumped in his chair, he knew that…

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Added by Gerald Andersen on October 18, 2015 at 5:49am — 10 Comments

When Ducklings.....ATTACK!!

Dear Alice, Sydney and Owen,

Pop was sitting at the kitchen table today having lunch when I heard a squeaky, squawking and turned to see a baby duck,tiny wings flapping, come racing out of the dining room and into the kitchen. I put down my ham and cheese sandwich and stared with eyes agoogle as it darted and…

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Added by Gerald Andersen on July 11, 2015 at 6:30pm — 21 Comments

Weekend Fiction: Angel Baby

Weekend Fiction

Prompt: Write a story that begins with "May I"





"May I have this dance?", he said to the pretty girl in the plaid skirt.



He had seen her from across the gym floor as soon as he walked into the dance. She was standing at the far end of the room with all of the other girls. The boys were all clustered with their hands in their pockets and with their best Elvis lip curls on their faces at the side near the doors.



This was the first time he… Continue

Added by Gerald Andersen on May 16, 2015 at 7:00am — 22 Comments

The Rocking Chair

The house is back on the market



After a six month hiatus because the wife and I burned out over the whole having the place show ready 24/7 process, we have re-listed. This marks the start of year three of our effort to dump the dump.



We are giving it six months. If it doesn't sell then we will stay…

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Added by Gerald Andersen on May 6, 2015 at 9:30am — 23 Comments

Roid Rage

Well, I am back on steroids.



Not because I'm entering a golf tournament, but because my right foot has been acting up. Ordinarily this should be a minor complaint for someone my age, but it's a game changer for me, because walking is my major form of exercise, and one of my greatest joys in life. I typically log 16 miles a week.



Now, due to the painful foot, I come stumbling back from my outings like an extra on the "Walking Dead." Favoring my right foot has changed my… Continue

Added by Gerald Andersen on April 30, 2015 at 9:00am — 29 Comments

A Spring Walk in Autumn (Warning: Poetry Ahead!)

Let’s take a walk on this fine Spring day



As we used to do in the time far away.



In the bower we'll gambol with youthful glee



And stop to kiss beneath the oak tree.





Oh, the air is so sweet! Could it get any better?



No, I don’t think you'll need your wool sweater.



Let’s run to the wood and recapture our time.



Yes, we’ll watch out for the ticks that cause Lyme.





Let’s go to the fields, ourselves all… Continue

Added by Gerald Andersen on April 28, 2015 at 4:40am — 16 Comments

The Death and Rebirth of Mr. Muggs

 

Mr. Muggs and I had been together at least ten years.

Every morning he would join me in the living room for coffee, his smiling face a refreshing counterpoint to my morning pout.

We would exchange pleasantries and I would take my first chug of the potent caffeinated beverage he happily shared with…

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Added by Gerald Andersen on April 20, 2015 at 12:30pm — 38 Comments

Easter Reprise: Holy Hell on Holy Saturday

(Here is a short story I posted here and at the Defunct Salon last year)



He adjusted his knee pads, shin guards and shoulder pads. He donned his helmet and strapped it in place. He slipped on his padded gloves and clutched the small iron bar hidden inside that his dad had given him to deliver backhand facial checks to onrushing players.



He watched the others as they warmed up. He had no fear of any of them. He wasn't the fastest competitor, but he was the biggest,… Continue

Added by Gerald Andersen on April 4, 2015 at 7:16am — 6 Comments

Goodbye, OS, and Thanks

 

What a depressing surprise when I got back home after a month in Florida to learn that OS had shutdown.

Due to sketchy wi-fi connections in the place we were staying, and general warm-weather inspired ennui, I had not been on OS for over a month. So, when I logged on the other day and saw the out of business notice, I, of course, blamed myself.

Maybe, if I hadn’t stayed away this wouldn’t have happened. Maybe management saw me as the drop out that tipped the…

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Added by Gerald Andersen on March 12, 2015 at 2:19pm — 32 Comments

The Tale of Tubba and Tonto's Tin Can

Weekend Fiction



Prompt: Write a story that involves the end of summer.



Jack sat on the end of the dock with his best friend, Warrie, and looked down his dangling legs at his own sneakers.



The rubber ribs on the front had completely worn away, and the canvas was rotting and splitting from the constant soaking and drying they had endured in their short life.



It was only two months ago, on the day school closed, that his mother subjected him to the usual… Continue

Added by Gerald Andersen on August 31, 2013 at 7:34am — 2 Comments

Look Out Below

Weekend Fiction



Prompt: Write a story where air conditioning plays an important role.



Steve Connor woke from his bed with a jolt.



He turned off the alarm and tried to get his bearings. He was not used to waking up without his wife beside him and in a strange apartment.



He missed her and the kids, but it was only a short term separation.

He had just been promoted out of the Omaha office of the financial firm for which he worked to a vice… Continue

Added by Gerald Andersen on August 4, 2013 at 5:42am — 1 Comment

Fetcher of the Dead

Weekend Fiction



Prompt: Write a story involving the worst job ever



As he rounded the apex of the horseshoe shaped driveway, he studied the huge single story brick and glass house in front of him.



"Pretentiously understated, naturally," he said.



He grabbed the heavy plastic body bag from the back of the wagon and walked up the flagstone path to the imposing dark oak front door.



The doorbell was answered by a tall slim young man in his early… Continue

Added by Gerald Andersen on June 14, 2013 at 6:28pm — 2 Comments

Huntin Bigfoot: the Legend of Ray

We was sittin in my best friend Ray's trailer watching a show about Bigfoot, that giant hairy go-riller that's been stompin around in the north woods.



They was presentin eveedence to a bunch of scientist fellers, and they was gonna decide if it was real or a pigment of people's imagination.



"Why they call it Bigfoot?", Ray pipes up. "It only got one leg? Shouldn't they oughta call it Bigfeet?"



Ray always ruins every show with his stupid… Continue

Added by Gerald Andersen on April 26, 2013 at 6:45am — 1 Comment

Preposition Proposition

I recently read in a Smithsonian newletter article titled "Most of What You Think You Know About English is Wrong," that it is okay to end a sentence with a preposition.



Excuse me? Now you are telling me this? Although I was an English major in college, I was never good at the mechanical stuff. The preposition precept is about the only rule I have a rock solid grip on. (Oh yeah, I ended that sentence with a preposition, and it felt sooooo goooood.) In fact, my fellow OSers, since… Continue

Added by Gerald Andersen on February 13, 2013 at 8:07am — 2 Comments

It's Your Friends at the NRA Callling

Weekend Fiction



Prompt: Write a story in the form of a voicemail message.



Good morning, Mr. Gunnerson, this is Chuck Dwijiak, under-secretary to the under-secretary, of the National Rifle Association.



We have no idea if you are a gun enthusiast, nor should we, as we don't wish to violate your right to enjoy your arms in private. They don't call them concealed weapons for nothing, now do they, heh, heh.



However, the name you use, Gunny, on your… Continue

Added by Gerald Andersen on February 8, 2013 at 7:44am — 4 Comments

Realer Reality Shows Coming Soon

Memo:



To: Promotion and Publicity Department

From: Ima Phaque, Director of Programming





Feb 3, 2013



Guys,

I know we are a little late getting into the whole reality programming trend. It's only been 13 years since Survivor hit the airwaves, ha, ha.



Still, we have managed to close the gap. Our new Fall programs are really realer than anything in reality, and don't have to take a back seat in inanity and tastelessness to anyone. We've… Continue

Added by Gerald Andersen on February 4, 2013 at 1:19pm — 1 Comment

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