Michael Reid Rubenstein's Blog (44)

Citizen Under Suicide Watch

 

Nothing I do is good enough for you

I hate myself

Wipe the table clean with tears and tissue

All I am is deficit to you

My worthlessness

Another mouth to feed

 

We are each…

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Added by Michael Reid Rubenstein on October 13, 2013 at 1:33am — 3 Comments

I'm Always A Little Afraid In The Beginning

Bottom line, you get me off

Fall short of that,

You are useless,

Useless.

 

“Men are so needy,” she said

I swirl spoon in watery broth

Sit speechless

Silently wonder what she meant

 

The deal is,

I don’t understand the deal

When did sex become

So terribly disconnected from…

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Added by Michael Reid Rubenstein on September 14, 2013 at 6:30pm — No Comments

She Seduced Me, Then Punished Me For Being Seduced

There are things I don’t want to talk about

Her destructiveness, my destructiveness

The nature of destruction

To surrender, allow, withstand

Her beautiful soft eyes looking off

The force of her scorn

There are things I never imagined

Added by Michael Reid Rubenstein on August 21, 2013 at 12:46pm — No Comments

Endless Nights, Endless Days, Or, A Flying Fuck

Secretly believing someone is watching

And will benevolently arrive, relieve the pain

When planets collide, lots of stuff goes awry

Every breath you take implicates you deeper

The constant cry of babies being born

Expect monsters worse than you can conceive

There is a dark alley deep in hell

 

Where strangers go

She was swallowing a horse who

Stomped its hooves

Kicked her in stomach pregnant with you

As soon…

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Added by Michael Reid Rubenstein on August 18, 2013 at 8:18am — No Comments

Unspeakable

My life is a fraud

Posing greatness, I go home to empty bed

I remember a girl

It was heavenly lying next to her

Talking, walking, being with her

 

Countless fissures fitted, amazing minutiae

She was the one, paradise once

Dilapidation is order of the day

Death dwells among the living

Seeped deep in…

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Added by Michael Reid Rubenstein on June 2, 2013 at 7:01am — No Comments

Electra-Girl

Electra-girl gyrates desperately.

Daddy is away on business.

The house practically empty,

Desolate winds rattle windows,

Stomach twists with craving.

 

Electra-girl squeals,

“Kill Mommy! Get her out of the picture.”

Little Miss teacup wants everything just right,

When daddy gets home.                                                                         

Electra-girl vomits hairball,

 

shaves thighs belly…

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Added by Michael Reid Rubenstein on May 7, 2013 at 4:31am — No Comments

My Leper Lover

 

My Leper Lover

Irrationality always wins

Chicago is aspirated beast

Braggart forced laugh

I had a vision but I have no vision

Dreamed I was making out with a woman

 

Who had long stretchy pink octopus tentacles

Sedulously legato ephemera

Growing from external rim of…

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Added by Michael Reid Rubenstein on May 3, 2013 at 8:00am — No Comments

"Empty glass looks like coffin" or, I don't want to awaken memories that need to sleep

I asked the old man

If he would miss existence

He flatly stated, “No.”

I asked him if he missed

His girlfriend who died

 

He said, “Yes, very much.”

Nothing beats love

Love beats on itself

Oblivion beats everything

Does anything stand a chance against oblivion?

 

Along the road…

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Added by Michael Reid Rubenstein on April 27, 2013 at 6:21pm — 3 Comments

Sore Winner or Sorbet de Sade

It’s what I can’t imagine

That keeps my eyes peeled

Glued to seat

Everyone in denial

And maybe that’s the worst part

 

Pretending.

We bury the dead

Celebrate creation

Is there somewhere else

Beyond these concerns?

 

Trust is a funny concept

We trust we will wake up…

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Added by Michael Reid Rubenstein on April 23, 2013 at 6:23pm — 1 Comment

Can We Possibly Be Friends Again, Or Conflicted Codependent Fantasy Involving Woman I Just Met And Hardly Know - 2013 M.R.R.

Being male, I wander

Mom dares not wonder

What kind of monsters she birthed

She brought her own equipment

I was aggressive but shy

 

Her womb is the most magnificent

Temple I’ve ever visited

There is nowhere else I want to be

Sister insisted

I stiffened then gave in

 

Children…

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Added by Michael Reid Rubenstein on April 17, 2013 at 6:30pm — No Comments

Paradise Brutal

It took a very long time for A to find B,

and possibly even longer for A with B to get to C,

then D shadowed, and along came easy E,

F hurried, G stumbled, and before you know it,

H pushed, I shoved, J fell, K and L bullied,

 

doormen and bouncers hired,

and hooked red velvet guest rope installed.

M and N showed legs and other stuff,

O accommodated, P arrived peeing and puking,

Q wandered in by mistake,

 

R…

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Added by Michael Reid Rubenstein on April 12, 2013 at 7:30am — No Comments

You’ll Never Have This Opportunity Again

 

A voice inside keeps repeating,

You’ll never have this opportunity again.

Title or first line sets precedent.

Pride is my sin, even with low self-esteem.

 

I remember severe pain

sitting at table

with head collapsed

on folded arms.

 

God sat across table from me,

asking, “Who do you think you are?”

I froze, forgot how to talk.

When I looked up, the thought was gone.

 

I recognize…

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Added by Michael Reid Rubenstein on March 28, 2013 at 12:05pm — 2 Comments

Bishop to Queen 4

Everything is such fun in the beginning,

when it’s new and undiscovered.

i’ll…

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Added by Michael Reid Rubenstein on March 10, 2013 at 9:22am — 1 Comment

2013 charcoal, acrylic on paper 30"x22"

Added by Michael Reid Rubenstein on February 19, 2013 at 7:57am — No Comments

2012 charcoal, acrylic paint on paper 30"x 22"

Added by Michael Reid Rubenstein on February 16, 2013 at 3:47pm — No Comments

2013 charcoal, acrylic paint on paper, 30" x 22"

Added by Michael Reid Rubenstein on February 16, 2013 at 3:30pm — No Comments

1997 - 2013 reinvention acrylic paint on canvas 24" x 18"

Added by Michael Reid Rubenstein on January 24, 2013 at 3:19pm — No Comments

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