Green Monkey's Blog (8)

Two Sisters

Clarabell was everyone's favorite. She was coined, early on, as the pretty one - the one with golden, carefree curls, apple green eyes, and a pleasant disposition. I, her nemesis, had unruly hair, too many freckles, and a weak chin.

"If you wrap a towel around their heads you can't tell them apart," Mom would…


Added by Green Monkey on March 19, 2013 at 9:30am — No Comments

My 8-Foot-Tall Voodoo Doll

When people ask me why I make the cross-country journey to Burning Man year after year, I tell them it is intensely therapeutic. And then I watch them laugh.

But it’s true you know, unless you’re one of those wayward frat boys or misguided hippie chicks.

“Is everyone naked?” they’ll ask me.

In reality, this freedom of expression is very limited. It’s the shirt cockers and cock socks that turn me off. Either…


Added by Green Monkey on February 28, 2013 at 11:00am — 7 Comments

Brain Power

photo courtesy of  universal mind power

My neighbor is in the early stages of alzheimer's, or is it dementia? I can't remember. Regardless,…


Added by Green Monkey on February 13, 2013 at 10:28am — 4 Comments


I read the label on my chic, overpriced raincoat today. It says, "DRY CLEAN ONLY." Why would a raincoat need to be dry cleaned? THAT is ridiculous.

I've owned the damn thing for over a year and I notice the label on the same day that the local dry cleaners misplaced six of my…


Added by Green Monkey on January 25, 2013 at 7:30am — 5 Comments

A Ride With My Father

My father is by my side. His cane rests, just outside his reach, in the lap of an aluminum chair.

We are tucked in the corner of the back row, behind a succession of synchronized seniors - a line of ladies dressed in sensible shoes, forgiving waistbands and festive holiday attire. Each turns, twisting to catch a…


Added by Green Monkey on January 10, 2013 at 10:30am — 7 Comments

JUICY Singles

My last post was very heavy so I wanted to show the "our salon" readers that I also have a twisted sense of humor.

It's Saturday morning and I'm trying my best to settle down and write but first I have to check facebook, then oursalon, then twitter, then...

In the middle of all this social hub hopping, I noticed this advertisement for Christian singles: 



Added by Green Monkey on January 5, 2013 at 7:00am — 5 Comments


The scene begins shortly after my arrival at the Omega Memoir Festival in Rhinebeck, New York.

photo courtesy of Paula's…


Added by Green Monkey on December 31, 2012 at 9:30am — 13 Comments

Lemon Juice

As a young woman my misconstrued mirror image confirmed that my thighs were fat and my hair was flat. I was cute, not pretty. I was witty, not smart. I had a tainted past, lacked a higher education, was not well traveled, and had no accolades I could boast about.

To reinforce my compulsion of feeding my self-loathing, I journaled. After purging…


Added by Green Monkey on December 23, 2012 at 7:30pm — 5 Comments


The Final Frontier

Posted by Robert B. James on May 19, 2019 at 7:34am 0 Comments

More Notes To Self

Posted by Robert B. James on May 18, 2019 at 7:32am 2 Comments


Posted by Steel Breeze on May 18, 2019 at 5:31am 6 Comments

Spun Dry

Posted by Robert B. James on May 17, 2019 at 7:00am 0 Comments

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