DaisyJane's Blog (74)

Reminiscing

https://web.archive.org/web/20090331163619/http://open.salon.com:80/cover.php

That right there is a link to an Open Salon cover from its heyday. 

March 31, 2009.

Look, it has Dr Amy, and a post making fun of Dr Amy.

It's got most of who we love.

You can click anywhere, and it might take you to a post.  Click the title, click a…

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Added by DaisyJane on September 10, 2018 at 8:04pm — 7 Comments

Why I don't write here anymore

I figured it out.

Joisey.

Can't do it.

Came back here a few days ago, to honor Trig.  Realized while writing the post which disappeared that Joisey was the reason I stopped, and today I realize he is the reason I can't restart.

In the past two days I have gotten Spam friend requests on FB from two people; one with one friend one with three.

Know how often I get Spam friend requests on FB?

Literally never, ever, ever, ever, ever.

So, there it…

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Added by DaisyJane on July 24, 2017 at 2:00am — 29 Comments

omg my whole trig post disappeared

I can't retype it, and I can't recapture it.  I can tell you only, with no backstory and none of the journey bc I cannot do it again, HOW Trig was like my brother.

More like my brother than anyone else on this site or Open ever was.  I loved James, and I loved Scanner, and I won't ever get over either one of them being gone, but they were beloved friends, not brothers.

Because, like my real life brothers, Trig had the power to hurt me enough to just close the door.  But always,…

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Added by DaisyJane on July 22, 2017 at 9:00am — 4 Comments

Good good good good news. Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty good news

I got an apartment.

For me and the boy.

Subsidized, so I should be able to afford it.

But it's more than just an apartment, it's an opportunity.

I will share more tomorrow, when I am not utterly wiped out.

It's very very very very good news.

I knew you'd be happy to hear, so I came right over to tell you all.

Added by DaisyJane on May 31, 2016 at 4:18pm — 8 Comments

On abandonment issues

I have a dear friend who has dated two women in a row with extreme jealousy issues.  I don't have jealousy issues, but I do have fairly extreme abandonment issues.

My friend says these women's insecurity is in their own heads, nothing to do with him.  I agree.

But where does it come from, this fear of losing love, and where does it go?

I am not a jealous girl - other women don't scare me.  I know that even now, I am stellar enough.  It's not that I think someone who…

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Added by DaisyJane on May 2, 2016 at 3:30pm — 14 Comments

The Absolute Thrill of Bernie Sanders

Look at Bernie's face.  You know the handsome dude just said, "Bernie, it's raining, whattareya doing out here?"  And Bernie got all sheepish bc part of him knew that was true.

This picture makes me love Bernie so much it gives me a stomach ache:…

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Added by DaisyJane on April 3, 2016 at 5:00am — 15 Comments

even now, i am nothing if not smart.

re: my argument about the supreme court and roe v wade.  i said its not going to be overturned, and its already gutted, and undue burden is placed on innumerable women.

in a lot lot lot more words, this slate article says the same thing.

off topic - do online magazines even HAVE editors anymore?  the article is 7000 words long,  and written with funding from the Nation Fund or something like that.…

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Added by DaisyJane on March 27, 2016 at 9:00pm — 15 Comments

omg i am freaking DYING of love!! #feelthebird #birdiesanders #snowwhite

swear to god i am gonna cry.

bubba said #birdsforbernie

*all hashtags stolen from reddit.  them redditors are clever.

and then, look at this.  and notice the hat on his lap.  and his messy pocket square, bc dude is TIRED.  why isnt someone buying him first class tickets at this point?  he NEEDS a chance to stretch out and maybe get a speck of…

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Added by DaisyJane on March 25, 2016 at 4:21pm — 18 Comments

The Utter Privilege of Voting for Hillary

Voting for Hillary means that you are fortunate enough to not need to worry about, nor even concern yourself with:

1. Minimum wage. She said until very recently that 12 dollars was more than enough.  She isn't even going to do anything to promote a wage raise or a living wage at all; to believe otherwise is something beyond naive.  So this means you don't earn minimum wage, you don't have anybody you love who earns minimum wage.  So, not really your concern.

2.…

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Added by DaisyJane on March 25, 2016 at 4:30am — 52 Comments

F*ck the SCOTUS!

That was said to the tune of Fuck the PoLees.

I finished applying for welfare yesterday.  My "ten days to get in the documentation" included four weekend days, and a bout of the real true flu.  When I asked for an extension, I was given an extra day, which didn't quite cut it.  So I dropped off the last of the forms I was able to get and asked for one more day to get the last one, and told them I couldn't find my SS card but that they definitely have a copy of it already.  

The…

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Added by DaisyJane on March 10, 2016 at 8:30am — 24 Comments

watching myself go insane

sicker than i have ever been in body and in heart

chills that are breaking my back and a black hate for everyone i know

everyone who didnt step up to the plate everyone who is halfhearted 

everyone i ever met i dont care if i dont know them tomorrow

abuse so subtle you dont realize its abuse, it adds up over a decade or more

lack of respect shown in such small ways you didnt even know it till years went by 

or maybe not maybe you just learned so…

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Added by DaisyJane on March 5, 2016 at 3:24am — 24 Comments

where is gerald anderson?

where are so many of us?

where have they gone?

there are too many for me to name, and my memory is so bad i cant even try with names anymore.[wonderful aside.  new-old therapist told me today that i suffer from anxiety more than pretty much anyone she has ever seen.  who knew?  that was not fun to hear.  that made me cry, partly for me, and mostly for my son, who had to be raised by a woman with such out of control anxiety.]

havent seen bobbot in forever, and hasnt…

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Added by DaisyJane on March 1, 2016 at 9:55pm — 14 Comments

i DO have good news

ok, first, after i wrote that post yesterday,  i didnt cry anymore. okay, i cried, but normal crying, a few tears, a loss of composure - not jesus christ holly youre scaring yourself.  so that is good.

i am not honest on here anymore you know, and it increases my feeling of being alone, which is only natural.  i used to share everything with you guys, and 85-90% with at least a couple real life friends.  now?  nothing.  i just keep that smile on as well as i humanly can.

but…

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Added by DaisyJane on February 18, 2016 at 6:29am — 10 Comments

ah fucking motherfucking fucking fucking fuck fuck

arrest number 5 yesterday, in about 18 months.

my son.

doesnt matter why.  doesnt matter if he was, in my opinion, doing the right thing but in the wrong way.

i dont fucking care.

i cannot stop sobbing, and i hate that fucking dramatic word.  crying is good enough, bawling is perfectly descriptive, but i am sobbing till i cant breathe, over and over.

i dont really want advice.  when you have a kid who doesn't fear homelessness, who has already chosen…

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Added by DaisyJane on February 17, 2016 at 12:57pm — 14 Comments

valentines day uber alles!

uber alles means above all.

i just learned it, and i love it, and i have used it more than any other phrase i ever learned, and i use it with great glee.

on my way out. no plans. gonna go to lowes and then babysit tonight.

applying for a job that i am supposed to be vegan for. not sure…

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Added by DaisyJane on February 14, 2016 at 10:30am — 13 Comments

some things i am still excited about - open call

ok so you know its been a hard year, hard couple years, few, several.

and i have not been wanting to do things, like, EVER, lately, and i was worried i might be getting depressed i dont even want to go to my writing group, which i normally love.  but it is VERY taxing, that writing group.  three hours long, and you do and you listen to very intense writing.

so i started to think about excitement vs non-excitement.  and i came up with a list of things i am still excited…

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Added by DaisyJane on February 12, 2016 at 7:00pm — 12 Comments

woman im a woman writer woman getting by woman friday woman

today i am woman getting voter woman registration forms so i can register woman people to woman vote in the primary.  woman i am a woman low on vitamin D it happens woman taking giant doses woman once a week.

been a woman crap time woman woman woman woman woman woman woman woman

penis

eta - my intention was to write an actual post just peppering it with the word woman. but i found myself unable to think thoughts while trying to remember to also add woman…

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Added by DaisyJane on February 5, 2016 at 5:30am — 24 Comments

yearny for bernie

last poll before iowa came out today.

hillary 45, bernie 42.

in the past week i have been called ignorant, a libertarian, and an anarchist, for picking him over her.

which i can handle, of course.

it's just odd to me, that on the dem side, we should be trying to take away people's right to vote for whoever they want, unmolested by condescending harassment.

i guess violent discourse has always been the american way. since before there was an america, the…

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Added by DaisyJane on January 30, 2016 at 7:00pm — 19 Comments

my bookcase, trig's open call

ok.  there's my bookcase.  the bookcase itself - see how its got a yellow back and then bright white with a yellow stripe?  keith did that for me, back in the beginning.  it was my mother's bookcase. her brother made it for her when he was a teenager, so that would mean it is about 60 years old, give or take.…

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Added by DaisyJane on January 22, 2016 at 6:30pm — 22 Comments

For James, who let me call him Jem

It seemed easy and perfect, because his name flowed so easily to Jem.

I can't write a proper piece, because I am sadder than I would have guessed - I rarely see death as terribly sad, because Heaven is so awesome.  If you believe 100% in Heaven, and I do, then you can't usually cry for the person who gets to go there.

But James did not get enough time to be joyous with Margaret and her children yet, and I am really mad at God, even tho I know he didn't do it, I just don't…

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Added by DaisyJane on January 19, 2016 at 5:51pm — 15 Comments

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