i visited the maju
within the soul search
makeshift model cars
race around the blind man's track
tank filled to the brim.
She peeks through the leaf
the world stops for a brief time
they are my very soul
my only daughter
my magnificent grand son.
Given the strange circumstances of life and death and what comes next I have just learned to take it all on the slide.
Forty five years and a few days ago a child came into this world. A gift to me and the woman of my dreams. A gift that grew to become the mother to a tall and wondrous boy. A path is traveled with intention justifies A journey, gives credence, sails.
I can't write. I have so much to say and can't seem to find the way two express it. My hands don't work…Continue
The diet is killing me. I am always hungry and not just a little famished no, i'm talking 20 white castle, large pizza extra cheese, banana peppers, mushrooms and a drive to whopper two hours later hunger.
Being hole up in a nursing home in a city of forty thousand people, mostly farmers crippled up with my kidneys shut down, 63 years old, overweight and filled with the occasional reality check of life and death I find myself sitting in my chair not able to grasp all of…Continue
You know we hear so much about how men talk shit about women and the truth is men do and they treat woman with no respect. The men that don't follow these dirt bag principles are far and few between. What I have learned though being a broke down crippled old fuck that is surrounded by women nurses and aides is that first, they have no qualms talking trash around me and two…Continue
My brother Nathan texted me
and ask if I remembered a time that involved Paul and I texted back that I did indeed remember. It was one of those times when mom and dad and the four boys and some of dads clan all decided to go to a buffet and eat.
Family get together's were rare and very uncomfortable for me.
We all met at a local buffet that was stocked to the rim with all kinds of food.
As we all lined up i immediately notice how at home my brother and…Continue
Johnny is our token Viet Nam vet. Was cut from his throat to his groin. Was known as a real psychedelic killer when he served. Now he just roams the two hundred hall to the cafeteria where he gets a giant black pitcher four times a night full of coffee.
A lot has has happened. I celebrated quietly my birthday, quietly... Donald the fuck is tearing down what our…Continue
Old lady Dawn Lou sits in the hallway yelling out "will someone help me fix my bed!"
I'm running behind. I am waiting for my brother to bring me a USB keyboard. i don't do well since the stroke and laptop keyboards.
drums for the ignorant
and the master of events is a clown walking in front of his pretty wife, the only saving grace
the clown is beating his drum with his Kleenex boxes wrapped around his waist
later on he usea…Continue
I'm cold. Middle of August and I am cold.
Old lady Nel was told she would be living here today.
The crying was unbearable. Nel heaved and twisted and turned calling out, "I want to go home! Take me home with you!"
The thing that makes me the angriest about the sobbing woman is actually the way the family treats her. Maybe next week but soon. Be more sociable. Stop crying. Eat more. The niece that has been put in charge of the sobbing woman is a monster.
I sometimes feel like I am dying. My breathing changes and I get the shivers and become confused. I sometimes wonder if some of my feelings now are connected to the dying…Continue
Talking with-between the window of wisdom and foolish joyous anticipations. Its 8:20, time for all to partake.
The cocktail of Ambien, Algram and Clonopien hit me early. I was a bucket of boiled flesh and not strapped in the seat correctly.
Added by Michael Todd Cheeseman on August 11, 2017 at 10:45am — No Comments
Sleepless night again. F…
It's been a few days. This Parkinson like thing going on right now…
Mind is …
Random thoughts and images completed again. It is time to let the mind find what it will discover and…
And then there is Nathan...
For thirty years Nathan ha…
I am going to celebrate my birthday today with my…
Added by Michael Todd Cheeseman on February 9, 2017 at 3:01am — No Comments
There is one nurse here that has actually become a good friend.
I follow her…
Colors burst as the veins erupt. …