All Blog Posts Tagged 'Humor' (987)

Diary of a Demented Snow Shoveler

I didn't write this, but I wish I had because IT'S BLOODY SNOWING AGAIN here. And the *$#%&# snowplow just went by. AGAIN. Sun Parlour of Canada? Pah.

 

December 8 6:00 PM

 

It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes  drift down from heaven.

 

It looked like a Grandma Moses print. So romantic…

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Added by Boanerges on February 7, 2018 at 8:30am — 14 Comments

John Kelly Chides Immigrants Too Lazy to Sign Up for Daca

John Kelly Chides Immigrants Too Lazy to Sign Up for Daca:  In defending President Trump’s new immigration proposal, chief of staff John Kelly implied that many Dreamers may have been just “too lazy to get off their asses” to go and sign up for the protection.  In defending Kelly’s statement, Congressional Republicans are quick to point out that anyone who’s observed President Trump’s work ethic as closely as John Kelly has, ought to have a pretty good…

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Added by Johnny Robish on February 6, 2018 at 9:08pm — No Comments

Trump Accuses Dems of Treason for Not Applauding His Speech

Trump Accuses Dems of Treason for Not Applauding His Speech:  In what many are calling a stunning statement for a sitting US President to make, President Trump suggested in a recent speech that Democrats who didn’t…

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Added by Johnny Robish on February 5, 2018 at 9:00pm — 13 Comments

LAPG Reinvestigating Natalie Wood’s Mysterious Death

LAPG Reinvestigating Natalie Wood’s Mysterious Death:  Los Angeles county sheriff’s investigators say they want to speak to 87-year-old actor Robert Wagner as a “person of interest,” in the case of the Natalie Wood death which reopened in 2011.  When reporters asked Christopher Walken - who was also present on the yacht that night - what he felt police needed to solve the case, Walken said that as far as he’s concerned, they “need more…

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Added by Johnny Robish on February 3, 2018 at 10:27pm — No Comments

EAGLES' FAN PSYCH-101

A FRIEND HAS TWO TICKETS TO THE SUPERBOWL...BOX SEATS, AIR, HOTEL. 

HE DIDN'T REALISE WHEN HE BOUGHT THEM THAT IT'S THE SAME DAY AS HIS WEDDING, SO HE CAN'T GO. 

IF YOU'RE INTERESTED AND WANT TO GO INSTEAD OF HIM, IT'S AT ST. PETER'S IN SOUTH PHILLY AT 5pm. HER NAME'S DONNA; SHE'LL BE THE ONE IN THE WHITE…

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Added by Jonathan Wolfman on February 3, 2018 at 6:30am — 3 Comments

Punxsutawney Phil Predicts Six More Weeks of Winter:

Punxsutawney Phil Predicts Six More Weeks of Winter:  The world’s most famous rodent - Punxsutawney Phil, saw his shadow and forecast six more weeks of winter.  In related news, a representative for Punxsutawney Phil announced he has just accepted a position as a weekend anchor on the Weather Channel.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on February 2, 2018 at 11:32pm — 1 Comment

Tomi Lahren Apologizes for Calling Joe Kennedy III a Little Limp D**k:

Tomi Lahren Apologizes for Calling Joe Kennedy III a Little Limp D**k:  Tomi Lahren has backtracked after she called Rep. Joe Kennedy III a “little limp d**k” in an Instagram video following Kennedy’s televised response to President Donald Trump’s State of the Union address.  While I’m certainly no Republican, I think her opinion about Kennedy needs to be taken seriously.  I mean, someone with a personality and disposition like hers - has be considered…

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Added by Johnny Robish on February 1, 2018 at 9:53pm — 5 Comments

Scientists Concerned Earth’s Magnetic Poles About to Flip

Scientists Concerned Earth’s Magnetic Poles About to Flip:  Scientists say the Earth’s magnetic poles appear to be ready to flip for the first time in 780,000 years, which could allow in lethal levels of radiation and cause a cascading mass blackout of the power grid -…

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Added by Johnny Robish on January 31, 2018 at 9:56pm — 3 Comments

"A LITTLE BIT COUNTRY, A LITTLE BIT GOP"! Music for the Misguided!

I really feel for him; he's so confused about his relationship.  I didn't say 'their' relationship - because ever since Trump's 'Bill of Love' DACA pitch, Lindsey feels, well - used…

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Added by marilyn sands on January 31, 2018 at 8:00am — 5 Comments

Elon Musk Sold 10,000 Flamethrowers Through His Boring Co Website

Elon Musk Sold 10,000 Flamethrowers Through His Boring Co Website:  In addition to his electric cars, trucks, his boring company and space ventures, Elon Musk has now launched an actual functional flamethrower for consumers, of which he claims to have already sold 10,000 of the $500 weapons.  Now I get just as annoyed as anyone else when those Jehovah’s Witnesses come banging on my door peddling their Watchtower magazine - but isn’t this idea just a wee…

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Added by Johnny Robish on January 30, 2018 at 9:29pm — 5 Comments

A Schlong List of SWEARING PRESIDENTS!

I got 'em all - from I-got-wood-Washington to I-got-smarts-Trump - they all swore!

I can prove that all…

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Added by marilyn sands on January 30, 2018 at 8:00am — 12 Comments

Man Killed After Being Sucked Into MRI Machine

Man Killed After Being Sucked Into MRI Machine:  Mumbai police have confirmed that a 32-year-old man has died after being “sucked” into an MRI machine by a giant magnet.  Wow, that really sucks!  On a positive note, the MRI results are back - and he appeared to have been in excellent health!…

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Added by Johnny Robish on January 29, 2018 at 9:50pm — No Comments

1 Sentence On Ikea Founder's Death

I suppose the old fellow's sawdust/pasteboard bones finally came unglued. 

...w thanks to…

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Added by Jonathan Wolfman on January 29, 2018 at 9:11am — 3 Comments

Ikea Founder Ingvar Kamprad Dead at Age 91

Ikea Founder Ingvar Kamprad Dead at Age 91:  Ingvar Kamprad, who transformed a small local furniture business in the 1940s to the massive global brand Ikea, has died at age 91.  When the funeral home delivered his casket, I guess it came as no surprise to anyone that “some assembly was required.”…

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Added by Johnny Robish on January 28, 2018 at 11:58pm — 4 Comments

Tomi Lahren Accuses Liberals of Brainwashing Teens into Eating Tide Pods

Tomi Lahren Accuses Liberals of Brainwashing Teens into Eating Tide Pods:  Fox News conservative Tomi Lahren is angry about the recent trend among teens filming themselves eating Tide Pods - and she’s putting the blame directly on liberals, whom she claims are have destroyed the American family.  One a positive note, a liberal spokesperson maintains that the Tide detergent in the pods being used to destroy the American family are actually a “low-suds…

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Added by Johnny Robish on January 26, 2018 at 9:39pm — 6 Comments

Trumps Wanted Guggenheim to Loan the White House a van Gogh

Trumps Wanted Guggenheim to Loan the White House a van Gogh:  The Washington Post is reporting that President Trump and First Lady Melania asked the Guggenheim Museum to loan them a van Gogh painting for the White House residence, but the Guggenheim declined - offering them a…

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Added by Johnny Robish on January 25, 2018 at 9:00pm — 12 Comments

Man Gets Prison Smuggling King Cobras In Potato Chip Canisters

Man Gets Prison Smuggling King Cobras In Potato Chip Canisters:  A Los Angeles man has been sentenced to prison for smuggling highly venomous king cobras into the country inside potato chip canisters via the mail.  Now of course, health officials have always warned about eating snacks like potato chips, but geez - this really takes it all to a whole new level. …

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Added by Johnny Robish on January 24, 2018 at 9:54pm — 9 Comments

TRUMP SHUFFLES OUT BEN CARSON for MLK Day...& gives Trump a Diagnosis!

Donald Trump:

"I'm here today - not because I want to deflect on yesterday's shitstorm - but to get behind me - the Martin Luther Vandross Birthday thingy.  Oh, sorry - King...here…

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Added by marilyn sands on January 24, 2018 at 12:30pm — 4 Comments

Saudi Arabia Camel Beauty Pageant Disqualifies 12 Animals for Botox

Saudi Arabia Camel Beauty Pageant Disqualifies 12 Animals for Botox:  Newsweek is reporting that a Botox scandal is gripping Saudi Arabia’s camel beauty pageant, with a dozen contestants already disqualified amid suspicion that their lips had been surgically enhanced by…

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Added by Johnny Robish on January 23, 2018 at 11:04pm — 4 Comments

Trump Repeats Indian Prime Minister Comments With Fake Accent

Trump Repeats Indian Prime Minister Comments With Fake Accent:  The Washington Post reports that President Donald Trump used a fake accent to impersonate Indian Prime Minister Modi’s comments to him.  Yea, well - if you think that impersonation was bad, you should check out Trump’s impersonation of a US president.  The irony is that Modi's grasp of the English language is probably much better than Trump’s will ever be. …

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Added by Johnny Robish on January 22, 2018 at 9:54pm — 5 Comments

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NEW BLOG POSTS

Maybe we should legalize murder

Posted by koshersalaami on February 24, 2018 at 7:00am 13 Comments

In a Cat's Eye

Posted by Doc Vega on February 23, 2018 at 3:10pm 0 Comments

The Forbidden Kiss

Posted by Doc Vega on February 23, 2018 at 3:08pm 0 Comments

This Voice in the Night

Posted by Doc Vega on February 23, 2018 at 3:05pm 0 Comments

The Myth of Gun Control

Posted by Doc Vega on February 23, 2018 at 2:40pm 3 Comments

The Second Amendment

Posted by Ron Powell on February 23, 2018 at 11:00am 15 Comments

GOP Response to Florida Kids

Posted by Rodney Roe on February 23, 2018 at 9:58am 4 Comments

If Stories Were Morning Glories

Posted by J.P. Hart on February 23, 2018 at 9:09am 6 Comments

Men In Robes

Posted by cheshyre on February 22, 2018 at 8:32pm 1 Comment

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