All Blog Posts Tagged 'Humor' (992)

Trump Tells Golfing Buddies White House is a Real Dump

Trump Tells Golfing Buddies White House is a Real Dump:  Many are up in arms after President Donald Trump reportedly told a group of his golfing buddies at his New Jersey golf club that the reason he frequents his properties so often is because "the White House is a real dump.”…

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Added by Johnny Robish on August 1, 2017 at 9:43pm — 15 Comments

The Donald Trump Witch Hunt -- As read by Gertrude Stein.

tip of the hat to Doc Vega.

Democrats, Robert Mueller, “Witch Hunt”, implicated

Wide spectrum, Rosenstein, FBI,  James Comey

James Clapper, Dan Coats, President Trump,  Russian collusion

Democrats, FBI,  Twin Towers, Robert…

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Added by Terry McKenna on August 1, 2017 at 12:27pm — 6 Comments

Putin Orders 755 Personnel Cut From U.S. Missions

Putin Orders 755 Personnel Cut From U.S. Missions:  In response to new U.S. sanctions, Russian President Vladimir Putin ordered that the U.S. diplomatic missions in Moscow and elsewhere in the country will have to cut 755 staff members.  Putin said under his new directive, senior diplomatic staff will be cut with sharp, pointy objects, while lower functionaries will only receive paper cuts.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on July 30, 2017 at 8:27pm — 5 Comments

Scaramucci Asks People to Keep His Family in Their Prayers

Scaramucci Asks People to Keep His Family in Their Prayers:  In response to news stories about his wife filing for divorce shortly after he took the job as president Trump’s Communications Director, Anthony Scaramucci is asking everyone to keep his family in their thoughts and prayers.  Oh, he and the rest of the Trump Administration are most definitely in our prayers, but I’m not quite sure he’d be all that happy about what we’ve been praying…

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Added by Johnny Robish on July 29, 2017 at 9:55pm — No Comments

Anthony Scaramucci’s Wife Files for Divorce

Anthony Scaramucci’s Wife Files for Divorce:  Anthony Scaramucci’s wife of three years is reportedly fed up with his ruthless quest to get close to President Trump - whom she reportedly despises - and has filed for divorce from the new White House communications director.  Rumor has it her attorneys are asking that the country be included in the divorce settlement.  Anyway, it might be a good idea for someone to let Ann Coulter know the Mooch is available. …

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Added by Johnny Robish on July 28, 2017 at 9:30pm — 11 Comments

Who Knew?

Today we will be going (again) to the cell-phone store.  No, I won’t say which one, because…well I just won’t.  We are not getting calls anymore…oh sure I get notified of a message, but no calls.  I’m serious.

At our stage in life each call is precious…maybe not precious but important,  (at least to us it is).  Can you tell we don’t get many calls?

There are a few other things to do also…h-m-m-m.  It is rough being retired. There is a…

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Added by Sheila Reep on July 28, 2017 at 8:30am — No Comments

DONALD JR. Gets Pinkish Slip from Orangish FATHER! Satirically Yours...

Dear Fruit of my Loins…

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Added by marilyn sands on July 28, 2017 at 12:00am — 8 Comments

Slug Mucus Glue That Stops Internal Bleeding Created

Slug Mucus Glue That Stops Internal Bleeding Created:  Scientists say a sticky slug mucus has been used to create a glue that can stop internal bleeding by binding biological tissues together - even if they are wet.  So let me get this straight, you’re bleeding internally because you’ve taken a slug from a 45 caliber revolver, and then you’re saved because you’ve taken another slug and used its mucus to stop the bleeding?  Now if you’ll excuse me, I believe…

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Added by Johnny Robish on July 27, 2017 at 9:28pm — 2 Comments

Stem Cell Brain Implants Could Slow Aging Process in Humans

Stem Cell Brain Implants Could Slow Aging Process in Humans:  Scientists announced they have slowed down the aging process in animals by implanting stem cells into the hypothalamus region of their brains, raising hopes that implants into the “almond-sized” hypothalamus of humans could help combat age-related diseases and therefore extend the human lifespan.  In related news, Trader Joe’s has almonds on sale all this week for just $4.99 a pound, but…

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Added by Johnny Robish on July 26, 2017 at 8:56pm — 4 Comments

Western Men’s Sperm Counts Halved in Last 40 Years

Western Men’s Sperm Counts Halved in Last 40 Years:  Research indicates sperm counts among Western men have been reduced by more than half in the last 40 years, and scientists are struggling to determine why.  Frankly, I’m less curious about what’s causing the drop as I am to know just who the hell’s been doing the counting all this time.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on July 25, 2017 at 9:48pm — 5 Comments

Trump Gives Bizarre Speech to Attendees of 2017 Boy Scout Jamboree

Trump Gives Bizarre Speech to Attendees of 2017 Boy Scout Jamboree:  President Donald Trump gave an absolutely bizarre speech at the 2017 Boy Scout Jamboree, regaling the youngsters with tales of attending cocktail get-togethers with “hot” guests and playboy industrialists, sharing nightlife tips, bragging about his election win and leading the scouts in a massive boo for ex-President Barack Obama.  Gee, I can hardly wait to hear what he plans to tell the…

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Added by Johnny Robish on July 24, 2017 at 9:26pm — 9 Comments

Bush’s Best Baked Beans Issues Recall

Bush’s Best Baked Beans Issues Recall:  The popular maker of Bush’s Best baked beans have issued a voluntary recall, saying some cans may have defective side seams which could allow the product to become contaminated with harmful bacteria.  Good grief, and this is their “best baked beans.”  I’d hate to think what the hell you’d be dealing with if you bought their crappy brand.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on July 23, 2017 at 9:33pm — No Comments

Trump Reportedly Considering Pardoning Himself

Trump Reportedly Considering Pardoning Himself:  News that Donald Trump and his lawyers are musing about the possibility of the President pardoning his family and himself to insulate them from any potential charges of wrongdoing related to the 2016 election has worked up many into a fury.  I beg your pardon - they’re considering what?  Frankly, sometimes I wish this family of grifters would just grab all the silverware and free souvenir pens and run away to…

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Added by Johnny Robish on July 22, 2017 at 8:51pm — 2 Comments

Coffee with Viagra-Like Ingredient Recalled

Coffee with Viagra-Like Ingredient Recalled:  A company based in Texas has voluntarily recalled a coffee product because it contains a substance similar to sildenafil, a drug used in the erectile dysfunction Viagra.

The FDA claims this…

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Added by Johnny Robish on July 21, 2017 at 10:09pm — 1 Comment

Republican Asks NASA About Ancient Civilizations on Mars

Republican Asks NASA About Ancient Civilizations on Mars:  California Republican congressman Dana Rohrabacher, who is vice chairman of the Committee on Science, Space and Technology, asked members of a NASA panel this week if there had been ancient civilizations on Mars.  Congressman Rohrabacher, don’t you realize that its dumb questions like that which make all the aliens who live on the dark side of the moon wanna mock us out?…

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Added by Johnny Robish on July 19, 2017 at 9:57pm — 6 Comments

Saudi Girl's Online Post in Miniskirt Draws Conservative Outrage

Saudi Girl's Online Post in Miniskirt Draws Conservative Outrage:  A young Saudi woman sparked a huge controversy over the weekend by posting a video of herself online in a miniskirt and crop top walking around in public, leading Saudi conservatives to call for her arrest.  In response to the video, an angry House Speaker Paul Ryan warned these are exactly the kind of young women who’ll grow up and attempt to enter the Speaker’s Lobby in sleeveless blouses…

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Added by Johnny Robish on July 18, 2017 at 6:55pm — No Comments

Odd Signals Detected Coming From Distant Star

Odd Signals Detected Coming From Distant Star:  Astronomers say they've detected "strange signals" coming from the direction of a small red dwarf star, located about 11 light-years from Earth.  

Astronomers point out that while the signal could…

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Added by Johnny Robish on July 17, 2017 at 9:14pm — 7 Comments

Plant-Based Burger Smells, Tastes and Bleeds Like Real Thing

Plant-Based Burger Smells, Tastes and Bleeds Like Real Thing:  Scientist and chief executive of Impossible Foods Pat Brown has created a plant-based burger that he says recreates the texture, smell and flavor of meat that carnivores crave (including the blood) - while cutting down on the waste associated with meat production.  And, after you’ve completely devoured one of these babies, I’m guessing about the only left thing to do is wash it all down…

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Added by Johnny Robish on July 16, 2017 at 8:30pm — 4 Comments

Trillion-Ton Iceberg Breaks Off Antarctica

Trillion-Ton Iceberg Breaks Off Antarctica:  One of the largest icebergs ever recorded, packing about a trillion tons of ice or enough to fill up two Lake Eries, has just split off from Antarctica.  While climate scientists are blaming global warming, Fox news is blaming it on bartenders and cocktail servers, whom they say are the kind of people willing to do just about anything for more ice.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on July 15, 2017 at 10:09pm — No Comments

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Art By Committee

Posted by Terry McKenna on August 18, 2017 at 5:30pm 2 Comments

poor sad "violent" nazi guy

Posted by Foolish Monkey on August 18, 2017 at 3:30pm 10 Comments

Hi Ho Steverino

Posted by Robert Young on August 18, 2017 at 12:30pm 0 Comments

SHACKLES OF OUR OWN DEVISE

Posted by Jonathan Wolfman on August 18, 2017 at 6:51am 23 Comments

Omens

Posted by Terry McKenna on August 18, 2017 at 3:30am 4 Comments

Today is my birthday!

Posted by Ron Powell on August 18, 2017 at 2:12am 12 Comments

A Couple Questions

Posted by nanatehay on August 17, 2017 at 3:28pm 40 Comments

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