All Blog Posts Tagged 'Humor' (986)

Dunkin’ Drops Donuts From its Name

Dunkin’ Drops Donuts From its Name:  Restaurant chain Dunkin’ Donuts announced it’s dropping the word “Donuts” from its name and renaming itself simply “Dunkin’,” which will align itself with the company’s emphasis on coffee and other beverages.  In related news, Starbucks announced they will be dropping the “Star” part of their name and simply calling themselves…

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Added by Johnny Robish on September 25, 2018 at 8:22pm — 2 Comments

Amazon Announces New Alexa-Controlled Microwave Oven

Amazon Announces New Alexa-Controlled Microwave Oven:  Amazon has officially gotten into the kitchen appliance market with its new $59.99 Alexa-controlled microwave oven.  Analysts say its the perfect item those who feel that having to push three or four buttons to cook a meal is just way too much work.  Unfortunately,…

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Added by Johnny Robish on September 24, 2018 at 8:01pm — 7 Comments

Hurricane Florence Leaves Thousands of Dead Fish on I-40

Hurricane Florence Leaves Thousands of Dead Fish on I-40:  Authorities report that the massive flooding caused by Hurricane Florence has resulted in thousands of dead fish washing up onto Interstate 40, leaving behind a horrible stench…

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Added by Johnny Robish on September 23, 2018 at 8:14pm — 4 Comments

Scientists Identify Earth's Oldest Known Animal Fossils

Scientists Identify Earth's Oldest Known Animal Fossils:  Scientists have used fat molecules to solve a longstanding mystery and identify an ancient creature who lived 558 million years ago called Dickinsonia, thought to be the first complex “multi-cellular” organisms on Earth.  Gee, multi-cellular organisms?  I had no idea…

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Added by Johnny Robish on September 22, 2018 at 8:01pm — No Comments

Pulp Free Orange Juice Issues

Pulp Free Orange Juice Issues:  Bought a carton of orange juice that claimed the juice was "pulp free." When I poured the juice into a glass, pulp came out just as always. I'm thinking what the hell is this, pulp fiction?…

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Added by Johnny Robish on September 21, 2018 at 8:34pm — 2 Comments

Outbreak Linked to Contact with Puppies

Outbreak Linked to Contact with Puppies:  The US Centers for Disease Control has linked puppies to a nationwide, drug-resistant, stomach bug outbreak.  Now come on!  I can live with having to refrain from drugs, alcohol, tobacco, fatty foods and even coffee, but my friends, when they start warning us about the dangers of…

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Added by Johnny Robish on September 20, 2018 at 8:24pm — 3 Comments

Police Arrest Man for Groping Fast-Food Worker

Police Arrest Man for Groping Fast-Food Worker:  Police in central Pennsylvania say they found a suspected groper of a fast-food worker by following a trail of the curly fries he left behind.  When confronted by police, the man claimed he was just only trying to get a good feel for the service there.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on September 19, 2018 at 8:30pm — 4 Comments

Pimples Are Now In and Becoming the Latest Craze

Pimples Are Now In and Becoming the Latest Craze:  Celebrities and bloggers are going bare-faced on social media as more of the trendy folks are joining the acne positivity movement and Teen Vogue has even launched the inaugural Acne awards.  Its about time!  I knew all this acne stuff would eventually come to a head.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on September 18, 2018 at 8:30pm — No Comments

Elon Musk and SpaceX Reveal First Private Moon Tourist

Elon Musk and SpaceX Reveal First Private Moon Tourist:  SpaceX has just announced that Japanese billionaire Yusaku Maezawa will be the world’s first private passenger to fly around the Moon, paying an estimated $35 million to travel…

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Added by Johnny Robish on September 17, 2018 at 8:13pm — No Comments

Some Still Pushing to Have Pluto Reinstated as a Planet

Some Still Pushing to Have Pluto Reinstated as a Planet:  Ever since the International Astronomical Union (IAU) demoted Pluto from planet status to “dwarf planet,” there have been those who’ve been steadily pushing back, trying to get Pluto re-classified as a planet again.  My feeling has always been that maybe after we’re certain Pluto has learned its lesson and paid…

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Added by Johnny Robish on September 16, 2018 at 7:30pm — 12 Comments

Worker Killed After Falling Into Meat Blender

Worker Killed After Falling Into Meat Blender:  A 41-year-old man has died after falling into a running meat blender at an Oregon meat-processing plant which has been repeatedly cited for safety violations.  Gee, sort of makes you long for the good old days when inspectors were only finding things like traces of horse meat or rat dung in meat.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on September 14, 2018 at 9:07pm — 4 Comments

Astronomers Find Black Holes Swallow and Then Burp Up Stars

Astronomers Find Black Holes Swallow and Then Burp Up Stars:  Astronomers have discovered black holes don't just “eat” stars, but they also “burp” them back up as stellar ghosts.  They burp them up?  Well, I can’t say I’m really surprised, after all, everyone knows they eat these stars way too fast.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on September 13, 2018 at 8:20pm — 4 Comments

Amateur Artist Botches Restoration of Ancient Jesus Sculpture

Amateur Artist Botches Restoration of Ancient Jesus Sculpture:  The art world is expressing shock and outrage after learning that yet another Amateur artist in the Asturias region of Spain convinced church officials to let her…

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Added by Johnny Robish on September 12, 2018 at 7:42pm — 9 Comments

Trump Calls His Puerto Rico Response An Unsung Success

Trump Calls His Puerto Rico Response An Unsung Success:  As Hurricane Florence bears down on the Carolinas, President Trump is describing his administration’s response to Hurricane Maria in Puerto Rico as “an incredible unsung…

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Added by Johnny Robish on September 11, 2018 at 10:45pm — 4 Comments

I Feel SO Validated!

YES!!!!   

Me to a TEE!!!! 

Thank you science for validating my offensive language skills, my propensity to stay up late and my inclination to clean every 6 months whether I need to or not.…

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Added by Safe Bet's Amy on September 11, 2018 at 3:00pm — 2 Comments

Repost: My Ultimate 9/11 Conspiracy Theory

originally written May 4, 2011 on Open Salon

I was kidding. Jack Heart thinks I'm close.









This post started life as a comment I wrote on Old New Lefty's blog. It is expanded here with his permission.



In the mid 1960's, an extremely wealthy oilman bought a magnificent penthouse in lower Manhattan. It was on the top floor of an elegant building. The penthouse was spacious, with tall ceilings, but its crowning glory was its view: a Southern exposure,…

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Added by koshersalaami on September 11, 2018 at 7:00am — 4 Comments

Son Sues Cryonics Firm for $1 Million Over Decapitating Father’s Head

Son Sues Cryonics Firm for $1 Million Over Decapitating Father’s Head:  A son is suing the cryonics firm Alcor for one million dollars for not respecting his late father’s wishes (and contract) to have his “entire body” cryogenically…

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Added by Johnny Robish on September 10, 2018 at 7:09pm — No Comments

Starbucks Opens Cafe Staffed Exclusively By Elderly People

Starbucks Opens Cafe Staffed Exclusively By Elderly People:  Starbucks has opened a cafe in Mexico City that will have an exclusively elderly staff.  Ironically, many customers reported that they placed their orders in their 20’s, but by the time they finally received their drinks - they were nearly old enough to work at the Starbucks.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on September 7, 2018 at 9:17pm — 4 Comments

Deep Thoughts For Your Friday

Does Cory Booker really have anything in common with Spartacus?…

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Added by Doc Vega on September 7, 2018 at 1:57pm — 5 Comments

Scientists Discover First Known Plant-Eating Shark

Scientists Discover First Known Plant-Eating Shark:  Researchers at UC Irvine and Florida International University have confirmed that the bonnethead shark is the world’s first known omnivore shark - one that prefers eating both plants and meat.  OK, so they found a shark who happens to enjoy a little side salad when it eats a surfer.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on September 6, 2018 at 8:55pm — No Comments

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I Kind Of, Sometimes, Liked Ike

Posted by Maui Surfer on September 25, 2018 at 6:10pm 1 Comment

On this day...

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Teaching Racism

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The Year Of

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Live Long and Procreate

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Isn't It Impressive ...

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1st Day of Filmic Fall

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