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Phyllis liked QuattoSpeaks's blog post Crimson Jesus Chronicles: Chapter 23
Apr 30
Phyllis liked QuattoSpeaks's blog post The Past Is Present And The Future Is Imminent
Apr 30
nanatehay commented on QuattoSpeaks's blog post Crimson Jesus Chronicles: Chapter 23
"I try blaming stuff on my dog too. For some reason, though, no one buys it when I let loose with a nasty butt yodel, look over at my 8 pound shih-tzu-yorky mix in faux outrage, and say "Tildy, how could you???" "
Apr 14
nanatehay liked QuattoSpeaks's blog post Crimson Jesus Chronicles: Chapter 23
Apr 14
QuattoSpeaks commented on QuattoSpeaks's blog post Crimson Jesus Chronicles: Chapter 23
"Ha!  Personally, I'd have looked officer right in the eye and said, "Thanks for returning those.  The guys really love it when I use them on THEM."  And then smiled.Hey, Kojak is fairly indiscriminate about what…"
Apr 14
nanatehay commented on QuattoSpeaks's blog post Crimson Jesus Chronicles: Chapter 23
"Looks to me like you dodged a seriously smelly bullet - I was afraid that bag was going to be full of poop wrapped around a motion-activated incendiary device. Dildos instead though... fascinating. A few years back a friend of mine was pulled over…"
Apr 13
QuattoSpeaks commented on QuattoSpeaks's blog post Crimson Jesus Chronicles: Chapter 23
"Don't get ahead of me, son.  :-)I'll try to speed it up a bit.  Been way too busy all of a sudden.  I think since winter decided to do a fade, work decided to suddenly wake up.  This post was supposed to have gone up…"
Apr 13
Boanerges commented on QuattoSpeaks's blog post Crimson Jesus Chronicles: Chapter 23
"Wondered about ole Greg. Good news, I suppose, that he's getting out soon, but even better (from a reader's perspective anyway), you get to keep Kojak. Just the thought of that mutt makes me smile. Don't keep us waiting too long for…"
Apr 13
Boanerges liked QuattoSpeaks's blog post Crimson Jesus Chronicles: Chapter 23
Apr 13
Boanerges liked QuattoSpeaks's blog post The Past Is Present And The Future Is Imminent
Mar 29
QuattoSpeaks commented on QuattoSpeaks's blog post The Past Is Present And The Future Is Imminent
"I would never rush on your account, darlin'.That would be a travesty of epic proportions."
Mar 28
Drew-Silla commented on QuattoSpeaks's blog post The Past Is Present And The Future Is Imminent
"Please, don't rush on my account. I'll just leave some Purell here for you..."
Mar 28
QuattoSpeaks commented on QuattoSpeaks's blog post The Past Is Present And The Future Is Imminent
"No, I meant it in the literal sense.  Those spongy, cream-filled logs of joy...Excuse me for a few minutes..."
Mar 28
Drew-Silla commented on QuattoSpeaks's blog post The Past Is Present And The Future Is Imminent
"I take it you mean Twinkie in an allegorical sense, sir. Mother always said literal-minded people are the Devil's playthings, or maybe it was vaginas she was talking about, she was an appalling drunkard. Either way, that sort of thinking can…"
Mar 28
QuattoSpeaks commented on QuattoSpeaks's blog post The Past Is Present And The Future Is Imminent
"Nah, that wasn't me, that was some other dude.  I grew into my present form by marinating in manure.Or maybe that was how my landscaper got the lawn to grow.Sometimes I can't tell what's reality and what's a flashback.Which…"
Mar 28
Drew-Silla commented on QuattoSpeaks's blog post The Past Is Present And The Future Is Imminent
"I seem to remember you from Open Salon. Is it true that you grew into your present form from an irradiated alter ego of tinkerertink69's third love child, the one that had a sad puppy's eyeball for an avatar? "
Mar 28

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Bio
A mutant refugee from the Mars Colony (also known as Open Salon), we tend to write about things that matter to us, like good pizza, on-time delivery of good pizza, and the lunatics that populate our neighborhood.

We work odd hours, so we are not always here. Just leave a sticky note on the door, and eventually someone may notice it.

QuattoSpeaks's Blog

Crimson Jesus Chronicles: Chapter 23

Posted on April 13, 2017 at 8:56am 5 Comments

Chapter 23: Dildo Baggings, Arrested Development, Inspector Clouseau Rides Again





I was out of the loop for quite some time, due to my injury.  Methusela tried to bring me up to speed on what happened while I was out of commission, but there really was not a lot of activity to speak of.  The Velvet Jesus People were still next door, they were still trying to figure out how to utilize their property most effectively (apparently, Ger did not approve of Methusela’s suggestion:…

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The Past Is Present And The Future Is Imminent

Posted on March 28, 2017 at 8:50am 10 Comments

Sounds profound, don't it?



And I suppose many of you are scratching your heads wondering just WTF this mutant asshole is talking about.



It means that I have finally caught up with re-posting the Crimson Jesus Chronicles from the very beginning up to the present.  That's right, all the chapters are now here and visible (though I had some serious issues getting 14 to show up, it seems like I finally succeeded).



So anyone who is new to the story can now go back…

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Still Kicking And Flipping The Bird On Immigration

Posted on March 21, 2017 at 12:02pm 8 Comments

Well, I have decided to try and catch up on migrating all the chapters of the Crimson Jesus Chronicles over here.  So today, I've got chapters 8 and 9 back up and hope to get at least one or two more before I have to get ready for work.



At this rate, if I can keep it up for more than a day, I should have the remaining missing chapters up by the end of the month.



That also depends on Kojak and Methusela.  But that is another story.  A new one.  :-)



Keep passing the…

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Crimson Jesus Chronicles: Chapter 22

Posted on January 10, 2017 at 1:38pm 4 Comments

Chapter 22 –A Rapture, A Capture, A Little Compound Fracture



The poor followers of the “Order of the Son’s Salvation”, or as I like to call them the “Crimson Jesus” folks, have been having a rough go of it since they moved into the neighborhood.  Calamity seems to follow them around like a Rottweiler chasing a piece of liver.



Last chapter, I told you that Ger was planning on putting up another structure in the back yard, apparently to be used to conduct weddings and…

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