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A mutant refugee from the Mars Colony (also known as Open Salon), we tend to write about things that matter to us, like good pizza, on-time delivery of good pizza, and the lunatics that populate our neighborhood.

We work odd hours, so we are not always here. Just leave a sticky note on the door, and eventually someone may notice it.

QuattoSpeaks's Blog

Crimson Jesus Chronicles: Chapter 25

Posted on August 21, 2017 at 7:58am 8 Comments

Chapter 25 – Night Moves, Fixing Cherubs


So as many of my faithful readers know, I have been working nights for a long time.  One of the guys I work with is a short, dark-complected fellow we all call Zapata because he has this awesome handlebar moustache.  Oddly enough, his real name is Jules Fornier and he is born-and-bred ‘Murican who only speaks English.  Everyone who does not know him immediately assumes he’s Spanish, which can be hilarious for the rest of us. But it…


Crimson Jesus Chronicles: Chapter 24

Posted on July 31, 2017 at 9:30am 15 Comments

Chapter 24: The Gift Of The Mad Guy, Blunder Woman Returns, Crimson Ger Appears


Being the giving, compassionate neighbor that I am, I wanted to return the favor that Morticia did for me when she anonymously delivered a bag of fake dicks to my house.  And yes, folks that may be inquiring, Kojak can in fact eat a bag of dicks, but I won’t let him because they have to last.  It’s not like I have an endless supply.

So I went out with Methusela last time and bought a…


Crimson Jesus Chronicles: Chapter 23

Posted on April 13, 2017 at 8:56am 5 Comments

Chapter 23: Dildo Baggings, Arrested Development, Inspector Clouseau Rides Again

I was out of the loop for quite some time, due to my injury.  Methusela tried to bring me up to speed on what happened while I was out of commission, but there really was not a lot of activity to speak of.  The Velvet Jesus People were still next door, they were still trying to figure out how to utilize their property most effectively (apparently, Ger did not approve of Methusela’s suggestion:…


The Past Is Present And The Future Is Imminent

Posted on March 28, 2017 at 8:50am 10 Comments

Sounds profound, don't it?

And I suppose many of you are scratching your heads wondering just WTF this mutant asshole is talking about.

It means that I have finally caught up with re-posting the Crimson Jesus Chronicles from the very beginning up to the present.  That's right, all the chapters are now here and visible (though I had some serious issues getting 14 to show up, it seems like I finally succeeded).

So anyone who is new to the story can now go back…


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Found on Twitter

Posted by Robert Young on October 17, 2017 at 6:17am 0 Comments

What About Ze Jews, Mein Kampf?

Posted by cheshyre on October 16, 2017 at 8:56pm 4 Comments

On Social Media

Posted by Ron Powell on October 16, 2017 at 8:39am 3 Comments


Posted by Steel Breeze on October 16, 2017 at 4:48am 17 Comments

Gush and Blush

Posted by Ron Powell on October 15, 2017 at 3:00pm 11 Comments

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