I need to write this.
I need to get this toxic sludge out of my system.
I need to watch the murky, black, hateful thoughts and memories leave my mind. I have to purge this bile from me. And then perhaps, perhaps, I will be granted a slight unconscious reprieve from the wretched menu that this week has presented to me.
On Monday, it was a roller coaster. The high hill being that I found out from a school I'd interviewed with, and with whom I…Continue
I'm sitting here, ill again after having eaten too much too fast, and thoroughly hating myself and hating my life.
I regret having had this surgery. I don't give a damn about losing weight anymore. I don't care about any of it. This entire summer has been spent with me either laid up in bed because of my back and hips, or nauseous, or on days where I'm truly lucky, I'll have both going on. This summer has been a waste. I have been such a lackluster mom. My daughter is so patient…Continue
I'm three pounds away from my first mini-goal of (at or below) 300. I'm numb to the volume of that number, but I know that most normal people are not.
On April 13 of this year, I received the roux-en-y gastric bypass surgery, having approximately 80% of my stomach detached and the remaining approximate 20% reattached to a lower part of my upper intestine (or something like that). Simultaneously, I also lost possession of my gallbladder.
For a long time, I was hellbent…Continue
So it's been nearly a year and a half since I've last been here, and that was never my intention.
I read my last blog entry and sadly, my mentality isn't much better than it was then. I can list the changes that have transpired though.
1. I got weight-loss surgery two months ago. Down 50 lbs. so far.
2. I earned my B.A. last month. Now just trying to line up a teaching job.
3. I'm on prescription anti-depressants, but I'm not convinced that they're…Continue